Once upon a time there was a young maiden and a handsome knight. The maiden loved to dance, and run and play with her friends. One day she fell in love deeper than she could ever have imagined. She had loved before but never like this. She spent her days with this wonderful knight in shining armor and left her friends and dancing and running days behind her. The 2 were married and lived in a humble cottage that seemed like a castle to her. In her world all that mattered was that the 2 of them were together. Nothing else mattered, she had her knight in shining armor she had dreamed of and nothing would change her feeling for him. He worked and she worked and they returned to each other’s arms at the end of the day. It was heaven. Then the maiden’s life changed. A child was born, she quit her work and stayed home with her baby. She loved her baby as much as she loved her knight. But life changed. The maiden and the knight decided together that her job was to be home with their child teaching and raising their kids while the knight’s job was to be out in the world – slaying dragons and providing the family with their needs. More children came to the maiden and the knight. And difficult times began to arise in their dream land.
The years went by…
Although the maiden had agreed to be home with the children, she missed her days of dancing and running and she missed her friends. The handsome knight couldn’t understand. After all, she had him. Wasn’t that enough? It was for a while, but for some reason the maiden now saw she was missing who she once was and longed for her old friendships and hobbies she loved before she met her handsome knight. The maiden also learned that caring for the children sometimes was a really difficult job. She would burst into tears some days as she cleaned filth she never had envisioned in her future life as a mother and wife. The handsome knight tried to understand but he was away most of the day and only longed to be held by the maiden who was now tired and spent from comforting, feeding and cleaning their children. He had no idea she had been crying while he was away at work. The maiden found her old friends, other maidens that had married their princes and knights and they found out they were very much the same. Many maidens were holding back tears from the love of their life. Many were hiding the sorrow they felt at not living the dream life they pictured they would have. Some beautiful maidens now suffered from something even darker; a dragon had entered their homes secretly and quietly and lived invisibly in their homes, this breed of dragon was called depression. As the maidens found time to spend together, they found that this breed of dragon was more common than the common mouse. It lived quietly and secretly in more homes than most husbands were aware. The maiden and some of her friends sought for ways to fight this evil breed of dragon. Some found that they needed to bring back old hobbies, some found they needed to just have a good friend. Some found they needed to develop their talents of dancing and singing once again. The maidens that turned to each other found they could often times defeat the dragon called depression. But some maidens could not.
The young maiden of our story was able to fend off her dragon and even rid her home entirely of this dragon for a season. She found she loved getting other maidens together to reminisce good times captured in photography and assisted them in making their pictures into priceless treasures. This brought her great joy and she was at peace once again as she pursued her love of life with her friends. She was better able to be a mother and the lovely maiden her knight hoped she could be and she too hoped she could be. The maiden learned how to trust her knight and in his ability to care for her and their children.
The knight and the maiden I would like to say, lived happily ever after. But years went by. And as things often do for most people, they also did for this beautiful pair, life changed once again. The years of going off to work and slaying dragons ended for the knight suddenly one day. A terribly mighty dragon that no-one had seen coming flew into a castle in a city far away and destroyed the work the knight had. In a day, his ability to care for his family was ruined. The maiden was expecting their 3rd child and was already worried about her ability to care for another baby when she was still trying to get used to her 2 wild boys. And now her knight was not able to go out and provide for them? More dragons entered their home: resentment, anger, and depression came back as well. These were mean ugly dragons that tried desperately to destroy the love the maiden and the knight had for each other. The dark forces sent the meanest ugliest dragons possible to destroy love and hope. The knight did everything he could think of to try and take care of his young family, but some days he could not do enough. Food became scarce at times as work was difficult to find. The young couple would take time to discuss what they needed to do and ended up angry at each other. He couldn’t provide like she had hoped and she wasn’t saving them money in ways he had hoped.
The dragon of resentment grew stronger and stronger. One day the maiden found herself reflecting on the way her life had changed. What had happened to the young girl who stayed out til 3 or 4 in the morning dancing with her friends? What happened to the lovely girl that ran and exercised and took care of herself. She looked in the mirror and saw a sad matronly looking woman she didn’t recognize as the maiden she used to see in the mirror. She was sad and lonely and resented her knight for not taking care of her like he promised. She thought of the princes that had courted her and wondered if life would have been different had she chosen one of them. She got into her carriage one day and started to drive away from her home. The maiden was unaware of the dragon that was pulling the carriage. She thought it was her hopes and dreams moving her vehicle when indeed it was a dragon called resentment. As she drove away, she thought of the destroyed floors in her castle that her children had desecrated. She thought of the long nights with crying kids and scribbled on walls. And she thought of the knight that came home exhausted and impatient with her with barely enough money and sometimes none at all to buy needed provisions. She wanted to leave it all and seek out one of those princes. The ones that had all the money and bigger castles. She thought about the what-ifs and continued her drive. Suddenly she stopped and began to cry large tears as she realized that an evil dragon was pulling her carriage, not her hopes and dreams, but a viscous, angry beast bent on destruction was pulling her away from her family. She stopped and cried and opened her heart to the heavens. There was a long conversation she had with the one that would listen to her no matter where she was. She looked to be alone, but she knew she was not and she continued her crying and pleading that she needed to have to defeat this demon dragon.
She drove her carriage home. This time fueled by hopes and dreams even though she was returning to what she had viewed as her nightmare: a home with messy loud children that disobeyed her, an empty fridge and empty wallet and a tired overworked and underpaid knight that could never fully understand why she was so angry at him. In fact she couldn’t fully understand it either.
She returned home. No one was aware of her intentions she had earlier of leaving. No one knew, not her knight, not her kids, not her best friends or the leaders of her church. No one knew her pain that day.
But she was resolute that she would change things. The maiden could not change her handsome knight’s ability to find work. She could not change her Children’s behavior, she could not change the past. And she knew that if she sought for something different as far as her choice of husband and family was concerned, she would only find a greater meaner dragon of suffering called “regret” should she leave what she had.
No, instead the maiden had to learn how to become some sort of knight. A maiden warrior as well. She had to learn to fight for herself. She began to learn more about her talents that the heavens had bestowed on her to develop and share. She learned more about the love her handsome knight needed to be what she hoped he could be one day. She learned that there was no fantasy story she could live in and that her hope for that kind of life would only bring the dragon of resentment back into her home.
She also learned that to become a warrior maiden took something she had no idea she had: strength, determination and a fierce drive to do what the heavens hoped for her.
The maiden found herself on her knees asking the heavens to give her gifts she needed to fight dragons she never knew existed when she was a child. Her days of running in the mountains free of worries and dragons were over. They would never return. Her life was something different now. It was a time of fighting for her life and her family’s. And yet in the fight she found something else, she was stronger than she knew she was. She found amazing joy in her children now that she had not felt before when wasn’t a warrior. As a new warrior maiden life was more full, amazing and beautiful. She saw the dragons, she knew what they were capable of doing to her if she forgot her strength and power the heavens had given her. She learned to appreciate and love her knight more as they became warriors together. The dragon of resentment lost his power as she became something new, strong and wonderful. Her knight became more powerful too. His strength increased as his love for her increased. He watched her develop into a beautiful and powerful woman that could stand by his side. She was no longer standing behind him watching him fight powerful demons alone and fearful, she was next to him as was her rightful place. And their love for each other grew more each day. The joy in their hearts increased as they learned of the power they had always been given from the Heavens that could only happen when they learned how to stand next to each other instead of behind one another. It was a powerful kind of force never witnessed before by either of them. As this power grew, the young maiden was more able to see her life as something new and wonderful.
One day the maiden stood in the middle of her home watching her rambunctious noisy kids jump on the furniture and yelling nonsensical words at each other. There they were – the same kind of creatures that years before sent her into tears with their messes and noise. But now she could stand and laugh with them. These amazing creatures brought her joy… something she had not seen in them years before. She stood by her husband and wonderful amazing knight in shining armor and she laughed out loud with him as she looked at her house with the drawings on the wall and the stained carpets and the messed up hair on her kids. It wasn’t the picture she had in her mind as an 18 year old innocent maiden before she had met seriously mean dragons. It was better! She was different, she had learned and she knew where she was meant to go from here.
I would like to say “and they lived Happily ever after…” but the truth is, they are still going forward fighting the dragons that never seem to go completely away. It seems each day brings a new kind of dragon. The dark force continually sends out other Dragons the 2 of them have to learn to fight together. And the maiden learned that many Princes she once thought she could have been with to protect her with their wealth had crumbled under the crushing blows of a variety of dragons she and her knight were fighting together. She was so happy to be with her handsome, strong and determined knight. That although the heavens had not blessed them with gold and precious gems, her knight had been given other gifts of strength needed for a true warrior. And she was glad to by his side – the love of her life…
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
working on some issues...
A few weeks ago I saw someone that I haven't spoken to in almost a year. The reunion was more awkward than I could have imagined as she walked away from me without even saying Hello. I was not prepared for it.
It had me wondering if I should reach out again after all this time and try and re-establish contact, or if I should let the old relationship die and forget about what once was.
Years ago I had considered her one of my dearest friend. We used to do a lot of things together and we spoke almost daily. We had shared hotel rooms, worked out together and celebrated achievements together. We had laughed until we cried together. And we had shared heartaches and private moments.
So why in the world would I let a "friend" like this go?
What in the world could I have done to have made her walk away in disgust when she saw me again after all this time?
I will admit it hurt to see that I was not even on a level that she could even bring herself to say hi when I waved as I walked by.
Here's how the story began...
About a year ago, I was making some BIG professional career and life altering decisions about where to spend time. Unfortunately some of those decisions affected her negatively. On top of that I was dealing with personal conflicts within me, feeling inadequate as I determined my new path in life was to be much more of an ambitious undertaking than anything I had ever done before. I became more and more aware of the people who gave me positive energy. I wanted to surround myself with people that made me feel like I could do ANYTHING.
Those that were sucking my energy and pulling me down were no longer welcome in my world and I was much more sensitive to their negativity.
I suddenly became very aware of those harsh comments, lack of support, times when I was let down in times of need and times when public comments about my flaws were made by her. Those things were no longer acceptable to me even though I had allowed it for so many many years. I was done! and I said so. She wasn't the only one - I told a couple of people in my life that I was done being around them because I felt like CRAP when they were near. I told her that the things she did and said about me were not acceptable and I needed to let her go from my life.
I wished no ill-well. In fact I hoped for success in her endeavors whatever they were.
The thing that was so difficult to me was that I had NEVER said those word to anyone before. Letting go of a relationship that had lasted about 8 years was more difficult than I thought it would be. I sent letters occasionally to see how things were going, to check on family's health and to make sure she understood why I was hurt so badly and why I made that decision. To tell you the truth I was kind of hoping for some kind of response, apology, explanation, or just tell me how upset she was about what I said to her - anything that would say she cared about what we once had.
There was never a response, no apology, no attempt to make things right - nothing.
The more I tried to reach out to her, the more lonely I felt. I wondered if I had been too mean. Could a friend ever forgive someone for saying the things I said? I wondered if the roles were reversed could I forgive me? I don't know... I knew I hurt her, and I had no idea if she could forgive me.
It's been nearly a year... I wonder... was there EVER a friendship? After running into her and having that awkward moment between us I began asking myself more and more, "what is a friend?"
Over the past year or so the answer to this question has surprised me. I am no longer in high school where friends seemed easier to come by. My friends in High School were people I cheered with, or sat next to in the stands at a Football game or laughed with in class. But today, a friend is so much different than that.
I discovered something I never expected - that a friend is often the person you least expect to be your friend. it's not necessarily the person you have everything in common with. It's not necessarily the person who has kids the same ages as yours. and sometimes your acquaintances that are there for you in a serious time of need are your best friends in disguise.
I posted this question about friendship on facebook and received a lot of great answers that I believe to be true.
"friends lift you up"
"friends can see you again after a length of time and you can pick up where you left off"
"if you love some thing or someone - let them go, if they return they were meant to be - if not, it was never meant to be."
"a friend can even be the person you just get an occasional 'hello' from in the halls"
"a friend supports you in the important things"
I reflected on these answers and realized that in reference to the person I said good by to earlier in this blog, that I had made the right decision.
I can let go now for good. I can breathe as these answers fill the questioning part of my mind that feels the need to hold onto things so much time was invested in.
There are so many different levels of friends and anyone can fill the need for a friend at some given point in time.
I do not consider myself as someone surrounded with a clique of friends that do everything together. I have often felt left out as I sought after those kinds of friendships. So, I reflected on the kinds of friends I do have and the kinds of relationships I choose to nourish and keep alive:
- I have the "hi" friends. these are the ones you see on a regular occasion (at church, at the school as you drop off kids, etc...) there are good for that warm hello and a smile just to brighten the mood and they fill a very important place in our lives.
- I have the Internet friends. I used to make fun of people who considered internet relationships real. now I understand them. It is wonderful to be able to talk to online friend in message board and social networking sights. in fact there are some people who would never hang out with me in public that I consider some of my best friends in the virtual world and I so need that friendship at times. But I still won't do mafia wars or Yo-ville with you people...
- there are the long-lost friends. These are those you truly miss that you once did stuff with. perhaps old high school or college buddies. and for whatever reason, you are now distant. but they are still friends and if you ran into them in a store somewhere you would give a big hearty Hello to and maybe even a hug and kiss on the cheek. You miss them, but understand that time and distance sometimes are a factor in keeping those relationships active (you may have moved them into the internet friend spot to keep it alive). you could possibly pick right back up where you left off.
- There is the Acquaintance friend - you may know each other from work or mutual friends, you don't necessarily consider yourselves "tight". But when push comes to shove they would reach out - trust me. I have found many of my acquaintances are much more than what they appear to be.
- there is the "talking to" friend - the friend you NEED! this is the kind of friend you can call or go over to their home during a rough patch and cry on their shoulder or talk about family problems and know they love you and will not judge you no matter what. everyone needs one of these.
- there is the Play friend - the friend that you go do stuff with. you can call them up and say "hey we are going to go..." and know they are up for it. they are fun buddies.
- there is the unexpected friend. the one that surprises you with love and service without being asked. the one that did your dishes when you miscarried a baby. or took your kids for an hour when you just needed a hot bath and quiet time. Or maybe they brought over a plate of cookies just to be nice. They are a nice surprise in a world full of difficulties.
- there is the spouse. I grin as I consider this and this could be another blog on it's own. But he is the one that you chose to share everything with. sometimes there is sorrow in this relationship with difficulties in learning to live with someone who doesn't do everything you want him to, but because he is someone you chose to be with, you would do anything to keep this friendship strong. you would give anything to make him happy. your greatest source of joy is seeing his joy.
- And there's family. I consider most of my family my friends and strive to make this relationship stronger. When I speak of family I mean my siblings, parents, kids, in laws etc... for the most part, working to make these family relationships into TRUE friends is worth the effort because of the peace of mind it brings over a crowded Holiday dinner table. But is also worth the effort because of the trust relationship it builds as you deal with the most intimate of details of eachother's lives. we are more aware of the faults of family members and therefore more critical with them than almost any of our other "friends". (except maybe our spouse heheheh)
- and finally - our savior Jesus Christ, the Ultimate friend to have. the one that will NEVER fail you. the one I am most grateful for during times of joy and sorrow. the only one that was never too busy, too distant, or too... whatever. he is who HE IS! He is love and charity and patience and peace of mind. He is my source of strength. When I doubt myself or feel powerless, He lifts me up, encourages me, he always is still there when I have let him go,
in fact I could probably replace his name in each of these statements
"friends lift you up"
"friends can see you again after a length of time and you can pick up where you left off"
"if you love some thing or someone - let them go,(except - I should probably not let HIM go) if they return they were meant to be - if not, it was never meant to be.( he has always been there even when I had let him go)"
"a friend can even be the person you just get an occasional 'hello' from in the halls" (his occasional Hello's are in the world around us - sunsets and sunrises, wagging tails of your loyal dog, etc...)
"a friend supports you in the important things" (he has always been there for answers as I ask "what next?")
I am so glad I had this moment to consider my world of great friends and how blessed and full of joy I feel today.
So I mourn the loss of a relationship I discovered was not a friendship and I realize I was deceived by my need for a friend.
I am learning to rejoice in finding my life is TRULY FULL of Friends that lift and encourage and support. Today I feel very very blessed.
It had me wondering if I should reach out again after all this time and try and re-establish contact, or if I should let the old relationship die and forget about what once was.
Years ago I had considered her one of my dearest friend. We used to do a lot of things together and we spoke almost daily. We had shared hotel rooms, worked out together and celebrated achievements together. We had laughed until we cried together. And we had shared heartaches and private moments.
So why in the world would I let a "friend" like this go?
What in the world could I have done to have made her walk away in disgust when she saw me again after all this time?
I will admit it hurt to see that I was not even on a level that she could even bring herself to say hi when I waved as I walked by.
Here's how the story began...
About a year ago, I was making some BIG professional career and life altering decisions about where to spend time. Unfortunately some of those decisions affected her negatively. On top of that I was dealing with personal conflicts within me, feeling inadequate as I determined my new path in life was to be much more of an ambitious undertaking than anything I had ever done before. I became more and more aware of the people who gave me positive energy. I wanted to surround myself with people that made me feel like I could do ANYTHING.
Those that were sucking my energy and pulling me down were no longer welcome in my world and I was much more sensitive to their negativity.
I suddenly became very aware of those harsh comments, lack of support, times when I was let down in times of need and times when public comments about my flaws were made by her. Those things were no longer acceptable to me even though I had allowed it for so many many years. I was done! and I said so. She wasn't the only one - I told a couple of people in my life that I was done being around them because I felt like CRAP when they were near. I told her that the things she did and said about me were not acceptable and I needed to let her go from my life.
I wished no ill-well. In fact I hoped for success in her endeavors whatever they were.
The thing that was so difficult to me was that I had NEVER said those word to anyone before. Letting go of a relationship that had lasted about 8 years was more difficult than I thought it would be. I sent letters occasionally to see how things were going, to check on family's health and to make sure she understood why I was hurt so badly and why I made that decision. To tell you the truth I was kind of hoping for some kind of response, apology, explanation, or just tell me how upset she was about what I said to her - anything that would say she cared about what we once had.
There was never a response, no apology, no attempt to make things right - nothing.
The more I tried to reach out to her, the more lonely I felt. I wondered if I had been too mean. Could a friend ever forgive someone for saying the things I said? I wondered if the roles were reversed could I forgive me? I don't know... I knew I hurt her, and I had no idea if she could forgive me.
It's been nearly a year... I wonder... was there EVER a friendship? After running into her and having that awkward moment between us I began asking myself more and more, "what is a friend?"
Over the past year or so the answer to this question has surprised me. I am no longer in high school where friends seemed easier to come by. My friends in High School were people I cheered with, or sat next to in the stands at a Football game or laughed with in class. But today, a friend is so much different than that.
I discovered something I never expected - that a friend is often the person you least expect to be your friend. it's not necessarily the person you have everything in common with. It's not necessarily the person who has kids the same ages as yours. and sometimes your acquaintances that are there for you in a serious time of need are your best friends in disguise.
I posted this question about friendship on facebook and received a lot of great answers that I believe to be true.
"friends lift you up"
"friends can see you again after a length of time and you can pick up where you left off"
"if you love some thing or someone - let them go, if they return they were meant to be - if not, it was never meant to be."
"a friend can even be the person you just get an occasional 'hello' from in the halls"
"a friend supports you in the important things"
I reflected on these answers and realized that in reference to the person I said good by to earlier in this blog, that I had made the right decision.
I can let go now for good. I can breathe as these answers fill the questioning part of my mind that feels the need to hold onto things so much time was invested in.
There are so many different levels of friends and anyone can fill the need for a friend at some given point in time.
I do not consider myself as someone surrounded with a clique of friends that do everything together. I have often felt left out as I sought after those kinds of friendships. So, I reflected on the kinds of friends I do have and the kinds of relationships I choose to nourish and keep alive:
- I have the "hi" friends. these are the ones you see on a regular occasion (at church, at the school as you drop off kids, etc...) there are good for that warm hello and a smile just to brighten the mood and they fill a very important place in our lives.
- I have the Internet friends. I used to make fun of people who considered internet relationships real. now I understand them. It is wonderful to be able to talk to online friend in message board and social networking sights. in fact there are some people who would never hang out with me in public that I consider some of my best friends in the virtual world and I so need that friendship at times. But I still won't do mafia wars or Yo-ville with you people...
- there are the long-lost friends. These are those you truly miss that you once did stuff with. perhaps old high school or college buddies. and for whatever reason, you are now distant. but they are still friends and if you ran into them in a store somewhere you would give a big hearty Hello to and maybe even a hug and kiss on the cheek. You miss them, but understand that time and distance sometimes are a factor in keeping those relationships active (you may have moved them into the internet friend spot to keep it alive). you could possibly pick right back up where you left off.
- There is the Acquaintance friend - you may know each other from work or mutual friends, you don't necessarily consider yourselves "tight". But when push comes to shove they would reach out - trust me. I have found many of my acquaintances are much more than what they appear to be.
- there is the "talking to" friend - the friend you NEED! this is the kind of friend you can call or go over to their home during a rough patch and cry on their shoulder or talk about family problems and know they love you and will not judge you no matter what. everyone needs one of these.
- there is the Play friend - the friend that you go do stuff with. you can call them up and say "hey we are going to go..." and know they are up for it. they are fun buddies.
- there is the unexpected friend. the one that surprises you with love and service without being asked. the one that did your dishes when you miscarried a baby. or took your kids for an hour when you just needed a hot bath and quiet time. Or maybe they brought over a plate of cookies just to be nice. They are a nice surprise in a world full of difficulties.
- there is the spouse. I grin as I consider this and this could be another blog on it's own. But he is the one that you chose to share everything with. sometimes there is sorrow in this relationship with difficulties in learning to live with someone who doesn't do everything you want him to, but because he is someone you chose to be with, you would do anything to keep this friendship strong. you would give anything to make him happy. your greatest source of joy is seeing his joy.
- And there's family. I consider most of my family my friends and strive to make this relationship stronger. When I speak of family I mean my siblings, parents, kids, in laws etc... for the most part, working to make these family relationships into TRUE friends is worth the effort because of the peace of mind it brings over a crowded Holiday dinner table. But is also worth the effort because of the trust relationship it builds as you deal with the most intimate of details of eachother's lives. we are more aware of the faults of family members and therefore more critical with them than almost any of our other "friends". (except maybe our spouse heheheh)
- and finally - our savior Jesus Christ, the Ultimate friend to have. the one that will NEVER fail you. the one I am most grateful for during times of joy and sorrow. the only one that was never too busy, too distant, or too... whatever. he is who HE IS! He is love and charity and patience and peace of mind. He is my source of strength. When I doubt myself or feel powerless, He lifts me up, encourages me, he always is still there when I have let him go,
in fact I could probably replace his name in each of these statements
"friends lift you up"
"friends can see you again after a length of time and you can pick up where you left off"
"if you love some thing or someone - let them go,(except - I should probably not let HIM go) if they return they were meant to be - if not, it was never meant to be.( he has always been there even when I had let him go)"
"a friend can even be the person you just get an occasional 'hello' from in the halls" (his occasional Hello's are in the world around us - sunsets and sunrises, wagging tails of your loyal dog, etc...)
"a friend supports you in the important things" (he has always been there for answers as I ask "what next?")
I am so glad I had this moment to consider my world of great friends and how blessed and full of joy I feel today.
So I mourn the loss of a relationship I discovered was not a friendship and I realize I was deceived by my need for a friend.
I am learning to rejoice in finding my life is TRULY FULL of Friends that lift and encourage and support. Today I feel very very blessed.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Today must be a writing day...
I think I have a lot on my mind today.
I fell victim to the pull of watching really really lame internet TV reality shows and I saw one that takes the cake on "Lame-ness".
"More to Love."
Yup - that is the name of the reality show I have only watched 2 episodes (2 too many) and I think I am done. The premise is good: the idea that you do not have to be model thin to find love and joy. It's "The Bachelor" meets, "the Biggest Loser" except no-one is interested in losing weight.
If you are not aware - I am a personal trainer and nutrition and fitness is kinda my thang. sooooo.... I watched.
I started with a very open mind that I would not judge these people based on their size. I am all about loving people no matter what.
But as I watched the horror story started to unfold...
here is what I learned from the women on this show according to their words:
1 - "Fat girls are more fun than skinny girls" - (my thoughts - even though most of the time they are just sitting around eating and back stabbing each other)
2 - "I'm so glad we get to prove that we are smarter and have more personality than skinny girls" (even though almost every conversation either turns to food or a make out session instead of anything of substance)
3 - "*Sob, sob, sob* I am so glad I have finally met someone that treats me as a princess and I am so in love finally for the first time. *sob*" (and get ready for rejection once again as he dumps you for the other 19 girls he is treating as a princess, having shallow conversations with and kissing like a fox in a chicken coop)
4 - (girl looks doe-eyed at boy and stares brainlessly at his eyes)"thank you for accepting me as I am and not wanting me to change." Boy: "Can I kiss you?" and then they make out for a while. - repeat with next chick...
5 - "I figure life is short, may as well just enjoy it and eat without worrying." (Life is shorter for overweight people. I plan on making my life last a little longer so I can enjoy it for more years than the average american)
nice...
how funny. ummmm.... not sure what to say more. but sorry ladies on this show, you have just given an insanely bad name for plump ladies everywhere!
at least on the other version of the Bachelor the men and women are not so desperate (usually) as to all of them making out in the first episode. I was sooooo turned off by your lack of self-esteem and the pretense that you tried to put out there that you all felt fine with your body image. and yet, so desperate for a man's affection as to give up your physicality all too quickly. what a shame.
yeah, I am done with that show and will go kayaking or bike riding or hiking or play at the park while those ladies talk about how much more fun it is to be overweight. I will also eat my steak and potatoes too... so I can continue to enjoy the time I have to play hard on this earth without wondering if hiking is going to give me a heart attack.
I fell victim to the pull of watching really really lame internet TV reality shows and I saw one that takes the cake on "Lame-ness".
"More to Love."
Yup - that is the name of the reality show I have only watched 2 episodes (2 too many) and I think I am done. The premise is good: the idea that you do not have to be model thin to find love and joy. It's "The Bachelor" meets, "the Biggest Loser" except no-one is interested in losing weight.
If you are not aware - I am a personal trainer and nutrition and fitness is kinda my thang. sooooo.... I watched.
I started with a very open mind that I would not judge these people based on their size. I am all about loving people no matter what.
But as I watched the horror story started to unfold...
here is what I learned from the women on this show according to their words:
1 - "Fat girls are more fun than skinny girls" - (my thoughts - even though most of the time they are just sitting around eating and back stabbing each other)
2 - "I'm so glad we get to prove that we are smarter and have more personality than skinny girls" (even though almost every conversation either turns to food or a make out session instead of anything of substance)
3 - "*Sob, sob, sob* I am so glad I have finally met someone that treats me as a princess and I am so in love finally for the first time. *sob*" (and get ready for rejection once again as he dumps you for the other 19 girls he is treating as a princess, having shallow conversations with and kissing like a fox in a chicken coop)
4 - (girl looks doe-eyed at boy and stares brainlessly at his eyes)"thank you for accepting me as I am and not wanting me to change." Boy: "Can I kiss you?" and then they make out for a while. - repeat with next chick...
5 - "I figure life is short, may as well just enjoy it and eat without worrying." (Life is shorter for overweight people. I plan on making my life last a little longer so I can enjoy it for more years than the average american)
nice...
how funny. ummmm.... not sure what to say more. but sorry ladies on this show, you have just given an insanely bad name for plump ladies everywhere!
at least on the other version of the Bachelor the men and women are not so desperate (usually) as to all of them making out in the first episode. I was sooooo turned off by your lack of self-esteem and the pretense that you tried to put out there that you all felt fine with your body image. and yet, so desperate for a man's affection as to give up your physicality all too quickly. what a shame.
yeah, I am done with that show and will go kayaking or bike riding or hiking or play at the park while those ladies talk about how much more fun it is to be overweight. I will also eat my steak and potatoes too... so I can continue to enjoy the time I have to play hard on this earth without wondering if hiking is going to give me a heart attack.
the joy of gardening?????
My entire life I have been taught the importance of having a garden. As a kid I resented having to move rocks, pull weeds and work in the garden. It was not fun - it was a chore. I hated it! I was thrilled when we didn't have a garden to work anymore.
As a married woman and mother, I just never wanted to have a garden. (I take that back, I have wanted one - just never wanted to do the work).
I loved eating fresh veggies straight out of the ground as a kid. there are few things tastier than eating that fresh carrot, or peas right out of the pod. I loved being able to do that as a kid. But I hate the work.
Now I have the space, the land and everything ready and I am cringing at the idea of all the work that is needed for me to start a garden. My neighbor Christy, is always bringing over fresh cucumbers, tomatoes, squash, zucchini, etc... from her lovely garden and it is oh so yummy. I want to have that too!
not only that but as the economy gets more and more fiercely unpleasant, the necessity of a garden becomes more apparent. In order to save money on shopping - I really SHOULD get my garden going.
I have been lucky enough to have purchased a home that the previous owners have been gardening fanatics. it was part of the reason we bought the home. Fruit trees are everywhere. The yard is already planned and had things growing in it waiting for us. Our first year here we had lettuce, garlice, cilantro, grapes, peaches, plums, apples, figs, pears, jujubee, persimmon, and some things I have no idea what they were growing everywhere. We were so excited! we love the yard and all the hard work the Jensen's had done to make it amazing. But we have come to the conclusion that they indeed did a lot of HARD WORK!
so today 3 1/2 years later - we do not have any more lettuce, some of the fruit trees are dying and the garden area has 6 foot weeds all over it.
It's depressing.
we felt impressed that this was the right home for us and we bought it. But we have had to work hard to keep up with the bills. between 3 businesses, 5 crazy kids and other responsibilities - we wonder, how does one have the time for a garden. no really, I want to know. do you have a garden and how do you keep up with it if you also have other businesses you run in order to pay the bills.
We have given a few attempts at it. we get out there and weed and think we are ready to plant and then we go out a week later to see all our work was for nothing. I am so depressed. I had pulled and pulled weeds like mad for a few weeks and we took a little break. I was thinking it was time to prep the soil and went out to see the weeds had all come back.
I will admit - we do not have a ton of money to purchase gallons of weed control and such. the reason we need a garden is because it is getting tough to buy produce. anyway - I am just overwhelmed about the idea of doing this garden. i wish I could afford to hire someone else to come and take care of it for us. I am exploring many options on how to care for a garden on limited time. but everything I read says - get ready to spend a lot of time and effort in getting your garden ready for planting. ouch...
still looking for the joy!
ideas anyone?
As a married woman and mother, I just never wanted to have a garden. (I take that back, I have wanted one - just never wanted to do the work).
I loved eating fresh veggies straight out of the ground as a kid. there are few things tastier than eating that fresh carrot, or peas right out of the pod. I loved being able to do that as a kid. But I hate the work.
Now I have the space, the land and everything ready and I am cringing at the idea of all the work that is needed for me to start a garden. My neighbor Christy, is always bringing over fresh cucumbers, tomatoes, squash, zucchini, etc... from her lovely garden and it is oh so yummy. I want to have that too!
not only that but as the economy gets more and more fiercely unpleasant, the necessity of a garden becomes more apparent. In order to save money on shopping - I really SHOULD get my garden going.
I have been lucky enough to have purchased a home that the previous owners have been gardening fanatics. it was part of the reason we bought the home. Fruit trees are everywhere. The yard is already planned and had things growing in it waiting for us. Our first year here we had lettuce, garlice, cilantro, grapes, peaches, plums, apples, figs, pears, jujubee, persimmon, and some things I have no idea what they were growing everywhere. We were so excited! we love the yard and all the hard work the Jensen's had done to make it amazing. But we have come to the conclusion that they indeed did a lot of HARD WORK!
so today 3 1/2 years later - we do not have any more lettuce, some of the fruit trees are dying and the garden area has 6 foot weeds all over it.
It's depressing.
we felt impressed that this was the right home for us and we bought it. But we have had to work hard to keep up with the bills. between 3 businesses, 5 crazy kids and other responsibilities - we wonder, how does one have the time for a garden. no really, I want to know. do you have a garden and how do you keep up with it if you also have other businesses you run in order to pay the bills.
We have given a few attempts at it. we get out there and weed and think we are ready to plant and then we go out a week later to see all our work was for nothing. I am so depressed. I had pulled and pulled weeds like mad for a few weeks and we took a little break. I was thinking it was time to prep the soil and went out to see the weeds had all come back.
I will admit - we do not have a ton of money to purchase gallons of weed control and such. the reason we need a garden is because it is getting tough to buy produce. anyway - I am just overwhelmed about the idea of doing this garden. i wish I could afford to hire someone else to come and take care of it for us. I am exploring many options on how to care for a garden on limited time. but everything I read says - get ready to spend a lot of time and effort in getting your garden ready for planting. ouch...
still looking for the joy!
ideas anyone?
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Banks
This might seem a little too personal, But I need this story shared! I am sending it to newspapers, banks and friends. I am tired of being ripped of by those who I trust to help me get ahead financially -
this is my story:
My husband and I have been married for 13 years. We have experienced feast and famine, ups and downs, struggles and triumphs – especially with finances. My husband had his first experience with a difficult layoff in 2001 after 9/11 put the company he worked for out of commission. He struggled to find work in our region that would pay enough to provide for a family and after going through several jobs, he decided to work for himself as a graphic designer. I pitched in and worked from home to help pay the bills and keep food on the table. We have had some really great years and we have experienced leaned years.
Lately with the economic downturn, our life has been what has become normal to us – tough as usual. But we get by. There are times we are overdrawn and need to pay bills a little late, but we always pay, get our accounts positive and we have not been on welfare to assist us.
I have never changed banks since I was 16 years old. I was with Great Western that was purchased by Washington Mutual and is now taken over by Chase. I have made no major changes to my accounts and have been banking as I normally have over the past 20 years.
I did decide to open accounts in other banks and tried Zions Bank out as well since after I moved there was no WAMU (Chase) in my little town.
I have been used to being overdrawn, paying a fee of $25-$29 for a paid item when I was NSF. But recently after opening an account at Zion and Chase taking over Wamu, I am now charged between $2.50 - $5.00 PER DAY when overdrawn! (this is at both banks)
This may not sound like it’s that big of a deal and you may be thinking, well woman, get your account in order and quit being overdrawn. Great idea!
Here’s a story about how the bank fights small time clients with that idea. About 6 months ago it was an extra lean time for my family. My husband was waiting for a client to pay him so we could pay our bills. Our joint checking we use for household expenses was at zero. SO, I used my very small personal checking to go buy milk and diapers and food about $40 worth BUT I was about $3 off on my checking account balance. I was unaware of this for a couple of weeks. I went in to make a small deposit from some of my odd and end jobs and found I was now overdrawn -$99. My deposit I was hoping would give me $60 in the bank left me at a negative -$39 and I would not have a deposit for at least another week. I also could not get the things I needed for my little family. I came in a week later to make a $100 deposit and now only had $26 instead of the money I needed to pay a few small bills. I made a decision that even though I did not have the money in there, I needed to pay a phone bill of $70 in order to make phone calls to make more money. This made me go negative again to -$44 and the OD fee made me -$73. It would be a couple more weeks until I would be able to make another meager deposit. So 2 weeks later I was now negative - $143. I was getting in deeper and deeper and this continued with Zions bank. This was supposed to be my emergency money for when times were tough I could go get diapers, food or whatever we needed while my husband was waiting for clients to pay him. I did not work a full-time job, just a small hobby business for emergencies. But my banks fees were leading to deeper and deeper financial strain on this small account.
That story was with Zions Bank. 6 months ago
But then, my relationship with WAMU changed as they became Chase. My bank I had been with since I was 16 started doing the same thing and worse!
I have an account for retreats that is only for paying for those retreats. I also have an account that is for my customer orders. I do not mix the money. I had a rough time with business and had some cancellations and refunds I needed to give for a retreat that left me with a SMALL negative balance that I knew I could bring to a positive within a couple of weeks as I collected client payments for the next retreat.
I went to make a deposit in my account BUT my bank had brought it to a positive and closed it for me. The money they used to bring it to a positive was from my customer orders account – this was money people paid me to purchase their supplies – it was GONE! what money do I use to place their orders?
Here what happened – the refunds caused me to be overdrawn $100 plus the OD fee of $35 gave me a balance of a negative -$135 plus the $5/day fee for being overdrawn for 20 days brought me to a negative balance of -$235
I really had no idea I was charged $35 for the OD (that amount had gone up with the changing of the bank nameO and I had no idea I had paid $5/day in this bank I thought I had been with since I was 16. apparently things REALLY change when another bank buys the bank I used to be with. I was banking as usual. Chase decided to take my customer’s money for orders and dump it into my other account and close it out without giving me warning.
Yeah, I am done with those 2 banks. I am now going to be Putting my money under my mattress. why not? There is no interest in these “free” checking accounts. In fact these free checking accounts have cost me over $1000 over the past year.
I wonder who these fees harm? does it harm The guy that makes more than enough money to provide for his family and then some? The guy with the stable job that pays every 2 weeks and has enough money for a trip to Disneyland every year can't understand my problem. Or does it harm more the people that have been laid off, had cut backs effect them, projects diminish, etc…. and are just trying to squeeze by. I feel like I borrowed money from “Vinnie the loan shark” and now my head is in a vice and I can’t get out of his hold. Except it’s not Vinnie, it’s my bank squeezing me beyond dry.
I don’t get it. I mean I know that banks make a lot of their money off of OD fees and the like, But sheeze! This is ridiculous! We are looking at a tough economy with people just trying to get by and the banks are not helping. How does someone barely paying their bills get by when a bank punishes them a daily Overdrawn fee when they fall behind? How can they hope to get ahead? Banks are taking advantage of the poor and struggling and making it worse. It’s time something changed. What are we able to do as consumers to change this. It’s time for a revolt. I am closing my accounts. The bank has made thousands of dollars off my overdraft fees over the past few years. In times of Success, I had kept my savings with them and they made money off the money I kept in CD’s and money market accounts. Now, because they choose to punish and strangle someone who is trying to make it and they are making it nearly impossible to get by in times of difficulty - they will make zero from me in fees from here on out!
Tomorrow I am going to start cashing my checks instead of depositing them. Tomorrow, I buy money orders instead of having a checking account. I use cash when possible, send money orders when checks are needed, and not using a debit card at all anymore. I’ve done it years ago, before debit cards – remember those days? we can go back.
Banks are relying on us strugglers to make them the most amount of money – let’s stop!
Refuse to pay daily OD fees – demand that they be illegal or refuse to banks that charge them. Close your accounts at these kinds of banks!
The only way to get ahead when your job isn’t paying you enough and your bank is raking you over – is to get out of your thieving cheating bank.
I laughed when I walked into Zions Bank the other day and saw this sign “We haven’t forgotten who makes us successful…” ( in reference to the client of course). I laughed because I indeed did contribute to their success. My free checking account has paid them over $1000 this past year. Times that by how many more people are in my shoes – OH yeah we are contributing to their financial gain and they don’t forget by charging us daily when we are down. Thanks, but No thanks! I need a bank like that like I need another hole in my head.
this is my story:
My husband and I have been married for 13 years. We have experienced feast and famine, ups and downs, struggles and triumphs – especially with finances. My husband had his first experience with a difficult layoff in 2001 after 9/11 put the company he worked for out of commission. He struggled to find work in our region that would pay enough to provide for a family and after going through several jobs, he decided to work for himself as a graphic designer. I pitched in and worked from home to help pay the bills and keep food on the table. We have had some really great years and we have experienced leaned years.
Lately with the economic downturn, our life has been what has become normal to us – tough as usual. But we get by. There are times we are overdrawn and need to pay bills a little late, but we always pay, get our accounts positive and we have not been on welfare to assist us.
I have never changed banks since I was 16 years old. I was with Great Western that was purchased by Washington Mutual and is now taken over by Chase. I have made no major changes to my accounts and have been banking as I normally have over the past 20 years.
I did decide to open accounts in other banks and tried Zions Bank out as well since after I moved there was no WAMU (Chase) in my little town.
I have been used to being overdrawn, paying a fee of $25-$29 for a paid item when I was NSF. But recently after opening an account at Zion and Chase taking over Wamu, I am now charged between $2.50 - $5.00 PER DAY when overdrawn! (this is at both banks)
This may not sound like it’s that big of a deal and you may be thinking, well woman, get your account in order and quit being overdrawn. Great idea!
Here’s a story about how the bank fights small time clients with that idea. About 6 months ago it was an extra lean time for my family. My husband was waiting for a client to pay him so we could pay our bills. Our joint checking we use for household expenses was at zero. SO, I used my very small personal checking to go buy milk and diapers and food about $40 worth BUT I was about $3 off on my checking account balance. I was unaware of this for a couple of weeks. I went in to make a small deposit from some of my odd and end jobs and found I was now overdrawn -$99. My deposit I was hoping would give me $60 in the bank left me at a negative -$39 and I would not have a deposit for at least another week. I also could not get the things I needed for my little family. I came in a week later to make a $100 deposit and now only had $26 instead of the money I needed to pay a few small bills. I made a decision that even though I did not have the money in there, I needed to pay a phone bill of $70 in order to make phone calls to make more money. This made me go negative again to -$44 and the OD fee made me -$73. It would be a couple more weeks until I would be able to make another meager deposit. So 2 weeks later I was now negative - $143. I was getting in deeper and deeper and this continued with Zions bank. This was supposed to be my emergency money for when times were tough I could go get diapers, food or whatever we needed while my husband was waiting for clients to pay him. I did not work a full-time job, just a small hobby business for emergencies. But my banks fees were leading to deeper and deeper financial strain on this small account.
That story was with Zions Bank. 6 months ago
But then, my relationship with WAMU changed as they became Chase. My bank I had been with since I was 16 started doing the same thing and worse!
I have an account for retreats that is only for paying for those retreats. I also have an account that is for my customer orders. I do not mix the money. I had a rough time with business and had some cancellations and refunds I needed to give for a retreat that left me with a SMALL negative balance that I knew I could bring to a positive within a couple of weeks as I collected client payments for the next retreat.
I went to make a deposit in my account BUT my bank had brought it to a positive and closed it for me. The money they used to bring it to a positive was from my customer orders account – this was money people paid me to purchase their supplies – it was GONE! what money do I use to place their orders?
Here what happened – the refunds caused me to be overdrawn $100 plus the OD fee of $35 gave me a balance of a negative -$135 plus the $5/day fee for being overdrawn for 20 days brought me to a negative balance of -$235
I really had no idea I was charged $35 for the OD (that amount had gone up with the changing of the bank nameO and I had no idea I had paid $5/day in this bank I thought I had been with since I was 16. apparently things REALLY change when another bank buys the bank I used to be with. I was banking as usual. Chase decided to take my customer’s money for orders and dump it into my other account and close it out without giving me warning.
Yeah, I am done with those 2 banks. I am now going to be Putting my money under my mattress. why not? There is no interest in these “free” checking accounts. In fact these free checking accounts have cost me over $1000 over the past year.
I wonder who these fees harm? does it harm The guy that makes more than enough money to provide for his family and then some? The guy with the stable job that pays every 2 weeks and has enough money for a trip to Disneyland every year can't understand my problem. Or does it harm more the people that have been laid off, had cut backs effect them, projects diminish, etc…. and are just trying to squeeze by. I feel like I borrowed money from “Vinnie the loan shark” and now my head is in a vice and I can’t get out of his hold. Except it’s not Vinnie, it’s my bank squeezing me beyond dry.
I don’t get it. I mean I know that banks make a lot of their money off of OD fees and the like, But sheeze! This is ridiculous! We are looking at a tough economy with people just trying to get by and the banks are not helping. How does someone barely paying their bills get by when a bank punishes them a daily Overdrawn fee when they fall behind? How can they hope to get ahead? Banks are taking advantage of the poor and struggling and making it worse. It’s time something changed. What are we able to do as consumers to change this. It’s time for a revolt. I am closing my accounts. The bank has made thousands of dollars off my overdraft fees over the past few years. In times of Success, I had kept my savings with them and they made money off the money I kept in CD’s and money market accounts. Now, because they choose to punish and strangle someone who is trying to make it and they are making it nearly impossible to get by in times of difficulty - they will make zero from me in fees from here on out!
Tomorrow I am going to start cashing my checks instead of depositing them. Tomorrow, I buy money orders instead of having a checking account. I use cash when possible, send money orders when checks are needed, and not using a debit card at all anymore. I’ve done it years ago, before debit cards – remember those days? we can go back.
Banks are relying on us strugglers to make them the most amount of money – let’s stop!
Refuse to pay daily OD fees – demand that they be illegal or refuse to banks that charge them. Close your accounts at these kinds of banks!
The only way to get ahead when your job isn’t paying you enough and your bank is raking you over – is to get out of your thieving cheating bank.
I laughed when I walked into Zions Bank the other day and saw this sign “We haven’t forgotten who makes us successful…” ( in reference to the client of course). I laughed because I indeed did contribute to their success. My free checking account has paid them over $1000 this past year. Times that by how many more people are in my shoes – OH yeah we are contributing to their financial gain and they don’t forget by charging us daily when we are down. Thanks, but No thanks! I need a bank like that like I need another hole in my head.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Sandy
several days ago I brought another dog to the pound. we have had Sandy for almost 2 years. I love that darn dog. She has been a handful:
she killed some of our neighbors chickens and even got stuck in the Hardy's oldest son's chicken cooping killing his wive's baby chickens (all of them). Chuck nearly killed my dog for it (can't say I would have blamed him).
Sandy killed a cat in the lot next door to us while my 11 year old son was watching. he was traumatized and cried when he told me how awful it was to witness it. (hopefully it was a stray and not a pet of someone's).
Sandy kills birds, chickens, and cats. she's a dog. she does what dogs do.
She also is smart - she gets out of our yard. she can hop our block wall (that was never finished by those we hired to do it - loooong angry story - not going there.)
plus she pushes open our gate even when I tighten it up or find some kind of method to hopefully deter her effort, she pushes past pain and uses her teeth to pull things apart set up to protect her from getting out of the gate. She cannot be chained up, she has 3 broken collars and 2 broken chains. She also figured out how to get her collar off over her head.
So I decided I would be a great dog owner - train her, work with her, run with her, etc... I thought "maybe she does all this because she is bored?" so I kept her busy - nope. on the days I ran her the hardest and trained and work my butt off with her, she continued to escape.
Sandy is gentle to people. she loves kids and will lick them and cuddle them. She used to sleep with my 4 year old. She was raised with babies. in fact she is only a few months older than my youngest baby. She and he were raised together.
SO... I have put up with her doginess and have tried keeping her indoors and run with her when I take her out. BUT our neighborhood is full of 4 and 5 year old kids that feel free to walk in and out of our home and leave the doors open as well as the gates to the yard (not that the yard gates would matter anyway). I cannot keep my sandy safe from herself.
The other day after a crew of 4 and 5 year olds were running all over my home, there was a knock on my door. There were 3 kids ages 10-12 years old. I know these kids, they know me, they know my dogs. I will keep them nameless since some readers know who they are as well.
There was a girl with tears in her eyes and the leader of the bunch that knows my family best was talking to me. "Sister Ennis, you have got to do something about your dog Sandy. She just killed _________'s pet rabbit while she was playing with it in her front yard."
I was devastated!
This was new. Sandy had never killed an animal while a child was playing with it. she had never even taken a piece of food out of my baby's hand. I had trained her to have self control when a child was holding a hot dog or piece of chicken. Sandy would sit and wait and wimper sometimes. But she would never take something away from a kid. I was crushed!
Sandy went to the pound that day - immediately.
I took my kids with me so they could say good-bye to her. Evan, Gabe and Ilia cried all the way home. Dane was 4 and didn't understand that Sandy was gone for good. He kept saying "is she at a babysitters and we get her tomorrow?" "Sandy will be home tomorrow right mom?" - this was his best buddy that he cuddled with at night. I had taken her away and I was crushed.
I went to the neighbor's house the next day to apologize and tell them I took care of my dog and see if they wanted a replacement bunny.
as I spoke to the mother - the real story emerged...
the little bunny had escaped from it's cage and was in the empty lot next door to us. Sandy and my other dog, Tottie (who does NOT kill rabbits and chickens)had been let out of my home by this family's little boy when he came over and let himself into my home.
so the dog killed the bunny - not right out of the kids hands, but in the lot next door. she again, was just being a dog, not the viscous animal these kids made her out to be. She did not take a bunny out of a girl's hands. the girl was not even near the bunny.
when I told the mother the story, she looked at her daughter and said "could you tell her what really happened please?" the daughter was swallowing hard and trying to explain a little better. "well... it wasn't exactly like that... but she did kill my bunny... not in our yard I guess..."
I asked the mom if she wanted a replacement bunny and the mother said "Please no!"
I am torn up about bringing my dog to the pound. that was not the place for a dog like Sandy. (although I am sure there are a few chicken owning neighbors that will strongly disagree with me)
HOWEVER - we are now down to one dog, and I love it! It is so much easier to have one dog that adores us. He sleeps with Evan and is a lot more obedient now that he is not trying to escape with his friend. now when he escapes, he sits by the house rather than wander the neighborhood with Sandy.
I miss Sandy. I am angry that I got rid of her because some kids decided to over exaggerate the truth and guilt me into getting rid of a dog that was just a dog doing what most dogs do.
BUT I would not get rid of one of my kids for screaming at me and disobeying, lying to me and being a rotten child (we'll wait til they are 14 ish and they have a program for them) just kidding - sort of. No, really, we have some serious struggles with kids at times but they are ours and we love them.
Dogs are similar. we struggle sometimes in training our dogs and getting them to be the kind of pet we want them to be. The difference is - they are dogs, not humans. so we give up faster. we decide that since they are not a child in our family it is fine to be done with them when they are too much stress. we can't choose that with kids without having the law step in and handle things.
I feel so guilty about Sandy. but because I am really enjoying being a one dog home, I am not going to go back to the pound and get her out. I hope someone with a secure yard gets her.
she was a great friend to me and my kids.
she killed some of our neighbors chickens and even got stuck in the Hardy's oldest son's chicken cooping killing his wive's baby chickens (all of them). Chuck nearly killed my dog for it (can't say I would have blamed him).
Sandy killed a cat in the lot next door to us while my 11 year old son was watching. he was traumatized and cried when he told me how awful it was to witness it. (hopefully it was a stray and not a pet of someone's).
Sandy kills birds, chickens, and cats. she's a dog. she does what dogs do.
She also is smart - she gets out of our yard. she can hop our block wall (that was never finished by those we hired to do it - loooong angry story - not going there.)
plus she pushes open our gate even when I tighten it up or find some kind of method to hopefully deter her effort, she pushes past pain and uses her teeth to pull things apart set up to protect her from getting out of the gate. She cannot be chained up, she has 3 broken collars and 2 broken chains. She also figured out how to get her collar off over her head.
So I decided I would be a great dog owner - train her, work with her, run with her, etc... I thought "maybe she does all this because she is bored?" so I kept her busy - nope. on the days I ran her the hardest and trained and work my butt off with her, she continued to escape.
Sandy is gentle to people. she loves kids and will lick them and cuddle them. She used to sleep with my 4 year old. She was raised with babies. in fact she is only a few months older than my youngest baby. She and he were raised together.
SO... I have put up with her doginess and have tried keeping her indoors and run with her when I take her out. BUT our neighborhood is full of 4 and 5 year old kids that feel free to walk in and out of our home and leave the doors open as well as the gates to the yard (not that the yard gates would matter anyway). I cannot keep my sandy safe from herself.
The other day after a crew of 4 and 5 year olds were running all over my home, there was a knock on my door. There were 3 kids ages 10-12 years old. I know these kids, they know me, they know my dogs. I will keep them nameless since some readers know who they are as well.
There was a girl with tears in her eyes and the leader of the bunch that knows my family best was talking to me. "Sister Ennis, you have got to do something about your dog Sandy. She just killed _________'s pet rabbit while she was playing with it in her front yard."
I was devastated!
This was new. Sandy had never killed an animal while a child was playing with it. she had never even taken a piece of food out of my baby's hand. I had trained her to have self control when a child was holding a hot dog or piece of chicken. Sandy would sit and wait and wimper sometimes. But she would never take something away from a kid. I was crushed!
Sandy went to the pound that day - immediately.
I took my kids with me so they could say good-bye to her. Evan, Gabe and Ilia cried all the way home. Dane was 4 and didn't understand that Sandy was gone for good. He kept saying "is she at a babysitters and we get her tomorrow?" "Sandy will be home tomorrow right mom?" - this was his best buddy that he cuddled with at night. I had taken her away and I was crushed.
I went to the neighbor's house the next day to apologize and tell them I took care of my dog and see if they wanted a replacement bunny.
as I spoke to the mother - the real story emerged...
the little bunny had escaped from it's cage and was in the empty lot next door to us. Sandy and my other dog, Tottie (who does NOT kill rabbits and chickens)had been let out of my home by this family's little boy when he came over and let himself into my home.
so the dog killed the bunny - not right out of the kids hands, but in the lot next door. she again, was just being a dog, not the viscous animal these kids made her out to be. She did not take a bunny out of a girl's hands. the girl was not even near the bunny.
when I told the mother the story, she looked at her daughter and said "could you tell her what really happened please?" the daughter was swallowing hard and trying to explain a little better. "well... it wasn't exactly like that... but she did kill my bunny... not in our yard I guess..."
I asked the mom if she wanted a replacement bunny and the mother said "Please no!"
I am torn up about bringing my dog to the pound. that was not the place for a dog like Sandy. (although I am sure there are a few chicken owning neighbors that will strongly disagree with me)
HOWEVER - we are now down to one dog, and I love it! It is so much easier to have one dog that adores us. He sleeps with Evan and is a lot more obedient now that he is not trying to escape with his friend. now when he escapes, he sits by the house rather than wander the neighborhood with Sandy.
I miss Sandy. I am angry that I got rid of her because some kids decided to over exaggerate the truth and guilt me into getting rid of a dog that was just a dog doing what most dogs do.
BUT I would not get rid of one of my kids for screaming at me and disobeying, lying to me and being a rotten child (we'll wait til they are 14 ish and they have a program for them) just kidding - sort of. No, really, we have some serious struggles with kids at times but they are ours and we love them.
Dogs are similar. we struggle sometimes in training our dogs and getting them to be the kind of pet we want them to be. The difference is - they are dogs, not humans. so we give up faster. we decide that since they are not a child in our family it is fine to be done with them when they are too much stress. we can't choose that with kids without having the law step in and handle things.
I feel so guilty about Sandy. but because I am really enjoying being a one dog home, I am not going to go back to the pound and get her out. I hope someone with a secure yard gets her.
she was a great friend to me and my kids.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
phazesfitness.blogspot.com
so, I said I was doing outdoor fitness adventures and bootcamps and such. my blogspot until I have a "real" website is phazesfitness.blogspot.com
Monday morning at 6am I have about 10 potential personal trainers coming to try out for a job. There is a marine, 2 marathon runners and guy who does martial arts and combat training a professional rock climber and a personal trainer as well as a few other assorted types. I am going to get my trash kicked. but that's what I want. I can hardly wait!
by the way - go check out my other blogspot.
right now we just have bootcamps going on, but pretty soon we are adding weekend adventures, hiking, rock climbing, kayaking, etc...
My job is the best!
Monday morning at 6am I have about 10 potential personal trainers coming to try out for a job. There is a marine, 2 marathon runners and guy who does martial arts and combat training a professional rock climber and a personal trainer as well as a few other assorted types. I am going to get my trash kicked. but that's what I want. I can hardly wait!
by the way - go check out my other blogspot.
right now we just have bootcamps going on, but pretty soon we are adding weekend adventures, hiking, rock climbing, kayaking, etc...
My job is the best!
Monday, April 27, 2009
I started a Fitness Bootcamp!
Sometimes I wonder why God directs one path and then that path halts and it is also the right answer. as many of my friends know, I went back to work punching a clock for someone else in the form of a job at Curves. I prayed about the decision and it felt right. It was definitely the right thing to pursue. 7 months later I am quitting. It's weird to call it quits so soon when I thought I was going to be able to give them a year or 2 of my life.
in the process of my time there increasing membership, training team and clients and loving my job as a fitness coach once again - I learned a few things about myself. I am critical and bossy and driven and competitive. I don't take instruction well from someone I have little respect for and I would make a great business owner with a good partner.
SOOOOO...
Enter my new outdoor fitness adventure!!!!
Phazes Fitness - "Outdoor fitness adventures"
I partnered up with an old friend I deeply admire for her skills in administration, business development and her love for fitness and adventure - Robin Sanderson. and my husband Bill has talked his way into being my Director of marketing. It's a great partnership and both Robin and I put in our notices and quit our jobs.
SCARY and exciting at the same time. I feel so good about the decision.
so now, I tie up loose ends at Curves, do some training of the new employees and get on with something I am passionate about more than anything - playing outside! and getting fit doing it!
wow. I can't believe I am on this path. it is a dream coming true right now. I had gone to college to become a personal trainer and fitness instructor and somewhere along the way lost me. I am coming back. My girl, Wendy Smart lost 5 pounds this past week at my Bootcamp!!! it's thrilling to be doing this for people and seeing the change happening in their lives.
So if you check out phazesfitness.blogspot.com that's my business blog. loads of fun! we are going to be doing kayaking, hiking and trail runs, biking, swimming, repelling and rock climbing and so much more!
This should be an amazing journey!
in the process of my time there increasing membership, training team and clients and loving my job as a fitness coach once again - I learned a few things about myself. I am critical and bossy and driven and competitive. I don't take instruction well from someone I have little respect for and I would make a great business owner with a good partner.
SOOOOO...
Enter my new outdoor fitness adventure!!!!
Phazes Fitness - "Outdoor fitness adventures"
I partnered up with an old friend I deeply admire for her skills in administration, business development and her love for fitness and adventure - Robin Sanderson. and my husband Bill has talked his way into being my Director of marketing. It's a great partnership and both Robin and I put in our notices and quit our jobs.
SCARY and exciting at the same time. I feel so good about the decision.
so now, I tie up loose ends at Curves, do some training of the new employees and get on with something I am passionate about more than anything - playing outside! and getting fit doing it!
wow. I can't believe I am on this path. it is a dream coming true right now. I had gone to college to become a personal trainer and fitness instructor and somewhere along the way lost me. I am coming back. My girl, Wendy Smart lost 5 pounds this past week at my Bootcamp!!! it's thrilling to be doing this for people and seeing the change happening in their lives.
So if you check out phazesfitness.blogspot.com that's my business blog. loads of fun! we are going to be doing kayaking, hiking and trail runs, biking, swimming, repelling and rock climbing and so much more!
This should be an amazing journey!
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Happy Valentine's day from the Mother Load...
Here is another great article from my friend Sarah that writes for the Spectrum...
ENJOY - (again not my writing, but I love it!)
Valentine’s Day is Saturday (you’re welcome, all you men who forgot). Being a student , I find myself fascinated with the origins of just about everything, and holidays are no exception. Unlike certain people in my life (*cough* Mom) who would ban the Easter bunny because of its origins as a pagan fertility symbol, I’m not on my quest to do away with holiday traditions whose origins I find personally objectionable. I just want the information so I can feel smarter than your average Valentine.
Looking into the origins of holidays is not unlike cleaning out your fridge. The more you dig, the less sure you are of what you’ve actually discovered. There are several versions of the Valentine story. I’ll let you decide which you prefer.
Version 1: Early Europeans believed that February 14th was the day all birds began to choose their mates. This belief has its origins in Chaucer, who wrote that Europeans believed this. Europeans, embarrassed that they didn’t already know they believed this, began believing it and pretending that they had always believed it. This led to mass expressions of love as a distraction from the fact that nobody actually knew what they really believed.
Version 2: The Pagans celebrated the feast of Lupercalia every February to honor the Roman God Lupercus and thank him for saving their flocks from wolves. Girls names were drawn from a box by the boys in attendance and the couples were considered partners for a year. The Christians renamed this celebration Valentine’s Day and encouraged the pagans to draw the names of saints instead. The pagans weren’t having it, probably because dead saints weren’t very good kissers.
Version 3: Emperor Claudius, annoyed that the men of his empire were less than willing leave their wives and fiancés to fight in his wars, placed a moratorium on marriages and declared all engagements canceled. Saint Valentine secretly performed marriages and was thrown into prison, where he died. It’s unknown whether any children of those secret marriages were named Valentine in his honor, because, well, they were secret.
Version 4: St. Valentine was imprisoned by Claudius for helping Christians. While in prison, he cured a jailer’s daughter of her blindness and/or fell in love with her and wrote her letters signed, “From your Valentine.” Claudius didn’t like the idea of his prisoners performing miracles and/or writing love notes and had Valentine clubbed and/or beheaded on February 14, 269 A.D. It’s unclear whether or not this Valentine is the same as the one in the previous version because they’re both dead and can’t be reached for comment.
Version 5: St. Valentine, upon being rejected by his mistress, cut out his own heart and sent it to her, still beating, as a token of his love. According to some scholars, we give heart-shaped boxes of chocolate and send heart shaped cards in the mail in remembrance of his passion and suffering. I would add mental illness, but I’m sure there’s another holiday set aside for that (it’s called Black Friday).
Whichever version you choose, it’s obvious that this holiday is steeped in tradition and rich with history. When you look into the eyes of your love this Saturday, remember wolves, wars, disembodied heads, and bloody, beating hearts sent through the mail.
If you’re now too disgusted to give that heart-shaped box of chocolates to your sweetheart, do feel free to send it to me via The Spectrum.
(Thank You Sarah!)
ENJOY - (again not my writing, but I love it!)
Valentine’s Day is Saturday (you’re welcome, all you men who forgot). Being a student , I find myself fascinated with the origins of just about everything, and holidays are no exception. Unlike certain people in my life (*cough* Mom) who would ban the Easter bunny because of its origins as a pagan fertility symbol, I’m not on my quest to do away with holiday traditions whose origins I find personally objectionable. I just want the information so I can feel smarter than your average Valentine.
Looking into the origins of holidays is not unlike cleaning out your fridge. The more you dig, the less sure you are of what you’ve actually discovered. There are several versions of the Valentine story. I’ll let you decide which you prefer.
Version 1: Early Europeans believed that February 14th was the day all birds began to choose their mates. This belief has its origins in Chaucer, who wrote that Europeans believed this. Europeans, embarrassed that they didn’t already know they believed this, began believing it and pretending that they had always believed it. This led to mass expressions of love as a distraction from the fact that nobody actually knew what they really believed.
Version 2: The Pagans celebrated the feast of Lupercalia every February to honor the Roman God Lupercus and thank him for saving their flocks from wolves. Girls names were drawn from a box by the boys in attendance and the couples were considered partners for a year. The Christians renamed this celebration Valentine’s Day and encouraged the pagans to draw the names of saints instead. The pagans weren’t having it, probably because dead saints weren’t very good kissers.
Version 3: Emperor Claudius, annoyed that the men of his empire were less than willing leave their wives and fiancés to fight in his wars, placed a moratorium on marriages and declared all engagements canceled. Saint Valentine secretly performed marriages and was thrown into prison, where he died. It’s unknown whether any children of those secret marriages were named Valentine in his honor, because, well, they were secret.
Version 4: St. Valentine was imprisoned by Claudius for helping Christians. While in prison, he cured a jailer’s daughter of her blindness and/or fell in love with her and wrote her letters signed, “From your Valentine.” Claudius didn’t like the idea of his prisoners performing miracles and/or writing love notes and had Valentine clubbed and/or beheaded on February 14, 269 A.D. It’s unclear whether or not this Valentine is the same as the one in the previous version because they’re both dead and can’t be reached for comment.
Version 5: St. Valentine, upon being rejected by his mistress, cut out his own heart and sent it to her, still beating, as a token of his love. According to some scholars, we give heart-shaped boxes of chocolate and send heart shaped cards in the mail in remembrance of his passion and suffering. I would add mental illness, but I’m sure there’s another holiday set aside for that (it’s called Black Friday).
Whichever version you choose, it’s obvious that this holiday is steeped in tradition and rich with history. When you look into the eyes of your love this Saturday, remember wolves, wars, disembodied heads, and bloody, beating hearts sent through the mail.
If you’re now too disgusted to give that heart-shaped box of chocolates to your sweetheart, do feel free to send it to me via The Spectrum.
(Thank You Sarah!)
Friday, February 13, 2009
Happy Valentine's Day - Tomorrow.. so Happy Friday the 13th!
I was listening to Valentine Horror stories on the radio this morning and realized "Oh my gosh, I have one. I WAS ONE! I was the crappy Valentine's Date from Hell to a poor boy." I have never written about and only told a few people about it. I decided that in celebration of Valentine's Day I would write about my bad deed on that special day.
Bill HATES this story...
it was 1996, I was living in Southern California and going to Saddleback College in Mission Viejo. Most of my college buddies were really really "rowdy" (to put it mildly). So I had found a friend among the rowdy ones that only liked to hang out with them but didn't party like them - just like me. He was a great guy and we started dating. Randy was a born again Christian, he didn't drink and he believed sex was for a husband and wife only. So we had the same basic life styles and core belief system. We had the same larger group of friends and I really enjoyed being around him. One time when things were serious he and I had a little chat.
Randy: so, your a mormon huh?
Me: yup
Randy: where are things going with us?
Me: not sure, for now I enjoy being around you.
Randy: I can't marry someone that isn't a born again christian
Me: great! I can't marry someone not LDS
Randy: so... what now? do we break up?
Me: well, I guess we could. truth is, I already know who I am going to marry.
Randy: really? are you dating someone else right also?
Me: no, he's actually on a mission in South America right now.
Randy: oh. has he proposed to you?
Me: no. Nick, you believe in the holy Ghost right?
Randy: yes
Me: you believe that the Holy Ghost can witness things to you right?
Randy: yes
Me: well the best I can explain it is that the Holy Ghost has told me that I will one day marry Bill.
Randy: that's cool. I get it.
Me: so what now
Randy: I guess we can keep hanging out, keep each other out of trouble and we don't get serious. Then when he comes home it's over. Deal?
Me: Sounds good - Deal.
a month later, February 2nd 1996, Bill comes home. I tell Randy that my future husband is home, he's fine with things he says. a few days later I invite Bill to Disneyland (we aren't really dating yet) and he can't go with me. So who do I call? Randy. I mean, I was invited on a double date with some Marni Manley and her date, I HAD to have a date and Bill couldn't go. So Randy went with me. (Bill is still insanely jealous about it).
Then a week later is Valentine's Day. Bill and I had gone out once to a Church dance and that was it. we hadn't gotten serious, he hadn't really taken things anywhere yet, (he had only been home less than 2 weeks, can't say I expected things to go anywhere yet).
So... who asks me out on Valentine's Day? Randy!!!!
(not Bill - your own fault Bill, quit getting jealous!)
I accept his invitation for a date I thought was going to be a casual hanging out.
Poor guy...
He shows up at my house dressed up nice and with a dozen ROSES!
I thank him. and we get in his car.
He says we are going to go see the most incredible view of the ocean from the mountains where he has a special surprise waiting for me. (crap)
So He takes me to the top of a Hill near Laguna. It was incredible, the ocean, the stars Laguna below us - absolutely breath taking! we walk over to where he had someone set up a picnic, with candles, music, the whole 9 yards. and he had MADE Chocolate covered Strawberries just a couple hours before he showed up to take me out. He had gone all out.
I didn't know what to say. It was too much. no, really, it really was too much.
We ate, we didn't say much. He asked me to dance. As soon as he grabbed my hand, I stopped him.
"Randy, you have done too much. Your a great guy. But, I have to call it quits with you. Bill has been home for 2 weeks and I know he's the one. You should probably take me home."
Yup. I broke up with a great guy on Valentine's day. He had gone all out and kicked some butt on the romantic date planning, and I crushed him. I suck!
well there is my Valentine Horror Story.
Bill and I were engaged 3 weeks later.
Bill - I love you! Sorry I am scum.
Randy - wherever you are, sorry I am scum. You are a good guy, just not MY guy.
Bill HATES this story...
it was 1996, I was living in Southern California and going to Saddleback College in Mission Viejo. Most of my college buddies were really really "rowdy" (to put it mildly). So I had found a friend among the rowdy ones that only liked to hang out with them but didn't party like them - just like me. He was a great guy and we started dating. Randy was a born again Christian, he didn't drink and he believed sex was for a husband and wife only. So we had the same basic life styles and core belief system. We had the same larger group of friends and I really enjoyed being around him. One time when things were serious he and I had a little chat.
Randy: so, your a mormon huh?
Me: yup
Randy: where are things going with us?
Me: not sure, for now I enjoy being around you.
Randy: I can't marry someone that isn't a born again christian
Me: great! I can't marry someone not LDS
Randy: so... what now? do we break up?
Me: well, I guess we could. truth is, I already know who I am going to marry.
Randy: really? are you dating someone else right also?
Me: no, he's actually on a mission in South America right now.
Randy: oh. has he proposed to you?
Me: no. Nick, you believe in the holy Ghost right?
Randy: yes
Me: you believe that the Holy Ghost can witness things to you right?
Randy: yes
Me: well the best I can explain it is that the Holy Ghost has told me that I will one day marry Bill.
Randy: that's cool. I get it.
Me: so what now
Randy: I guess we can keep hanging out, keep each other out of trouble and we don't get serious. Then when he comes home it's over. Deal?
Me: Sounds good - Deal.
a month later, February 2nd 1996, Bill comes home. I tell Randy that my future husband is home, he's fine with things he says. a few days later I invite Bill to Disneyland (we aren't really dating yet) and he can't go with me. So who do I call? Randy. I mean, I was invited on a double date with some Marni Manley and her date, I HAD to have a date and Bill couldn't go. So Randy went with me. (Bill is still insanely jealous about it).
Then a week later is Valentine's Day. Bill and I had gone out once to a Church dance and that was it. we hadn't gotten serious, he hadn't really taken things anywhere yet, (he had only been home less than 2 weeks, can't say I expected things to go anywhere yet).
So... who asks me out on Valentine's Day? Randy!!!!
(not Bill - your own fault Bill, quit getting jealous!)
I accept his invitation for a date I thought was going to be a casual hanging out.
Poor guy...
He shows up at my house dressed up nice and with a dozen ROSES!
I thank him. and we get in his car.
He says we are going to go see the most incredible view of the ocean from the mountains where he has a special surprise waiting for me. (crap)
So He takes me to the top of a Hill near Laguna. It was incredible, the ocean, the stars Laguna below us - absolutely breath taking! we walk over to where he had someone set up a picnic, with candles, music, the whole 9 yards. and he had MADE Chocolate covered Strawberries just a couple hours before he showed up to take me out. He had gone all out.
I didn't know what to say. It was too much. no, really, it really was too much.
We ate, we didn't say much. He asked me to dance. As soon as he grabbed my hand, I stopped him.
"Randy, you have done too much. Your a great guy. But, I have to call it quits with you. Bill has been home for 2 weeks and I know he's the one. You should probably take me home."
Yup. I broke up with a great guy on Valentine's day. He had gone all out and kicked some butt on the romantic date planning, and I crushed him. I suck!
well there is my Valentine Horror Story.
Bill and I were engaged 3 weeks later.
Bill - I love you! Sorry I am scum.
Randy - wherever you are, sorry I am scum. You are a good guy, just not MY guy.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
It's funny...
It's been a while since I've "blogged"...
that phrase is funny to me. you see, that's how almost every journal entry in every journal I have ever had starts.
..."it's been a while since I've written..." As if I owe someone an apology for my laziness. when in fact it is not laziness but busy - ness that keeps me from blogging.
Yes, I have been home-schooling. I kind of feel guilty that I am not liking it as much as other moms seem to like it. It is a real sacrifice to make sure I make that time to prepare and sit and teach and help. I get very frustrated with my son.
but here is what I do love - he is doing better than he had a chance to do in school.
Gabe is a difficult kid sometimes. He flat out refuses to do work of any kind unless it is making movies on the computer.
so me... the big genius that I am... decides he gets to have his own blog spot to journal and write in. But what is his Blog now? A huge mess of games and movie downloads. No writing anywhere. hurumph. okay, how to get a kid to write. that is the next problem. He draws comic books and writes a few words or phrases here and there to embellish the story he tells with pictures. He is a great story teller with pictures. I love that he can change facial expressions and body language in a stick figure. amazing to a non-artist like me.
I had the reverse problem in school. Teachers were always saying "Michelle, I asked for a one page essay comparing these 2 poems, I didn't need 13 pages tying in other poetry books and comparisons Please do it over and make it something I can read in one night."
Yeah, I was THAT kid. So it's hard for me to figure out why MY child doesn't want to write? I don't expect perfection. one time I told him he could write anything he wanted to (this was after trying to get him to do a paragraph of what he just read) But he cried and cried and cried and refused and said his head was going to explode. So when the paper was finally finished it was something like this...
"... I hate my mom. my head hurts. Why does everyone hate me. I can't think of anything to write. If I have to miss my brother's party I'd rather die. ..." etc, etc...
So yeah. He finally wrote a whole page. this is something he has never done before for any teacher. since then he has written 2 other pages very similar, but he is STARTTING to write.
I believe learning to write to be so important. maybe it's because it's MY way of being vocal. But truly every great leader in history has been able to write their thoughts and feelings. Even great scientists and artists need to learn to write what they think and see and feel in order to gain the respect of their communities.
So yeah, I am a stickler on writing. Not penmanship, not spelling, not punctuation. Just on writing. Getting thoughts to words to computer or paper. If I can help him do that, I think he can feel more free to express all those things tied up inside him.
that phrase is funny to me. you see, that's how almost every journal entry in every journal I have ever had starts.
..."it's been a while since I've written..." As if I owe someone an apology for my laziness. when in fact it is not laziness but busy - ness that keeps me from blogging.
Yes, I have been home-schooling. I kind of feel guilty that I am not liking it as much as other moms seem to like it. It is a real sacrifice to make sure I make that time to prepare and sit and teach and help. I get very frustrated with my son.
but here is what I do love - he is doing better than he had a chance to do in school.
Gabe is a difficult kid sometimes. He flat out refuses to do work of any kind unless it is making movies on the computer.
so me... the big genius that I am... decides he gets to have his own blog spot to journal and write in. But what is his Blog now? A huge mess of games and movie downloads. No writing anywhere. hurumph. okay, how to get a kid to write. that is the next problem. He draws comic books and writes a few words or phrases here and there to embellish the story he tells with pictures. He is a great story teller with pictures. I love that he can change facial expressions and body language in a stick figure. amazing to a non-artist like me.
I had the reverse problem in school. Teachers were always saying "Michelle, I asked for a one page essay comparing these 2 poems, I didn't need 13 pages tying in other poetry books and comparisons Please do it over and make it something I can read in one night."
Yeah, I was THAT kid. So it's hard for me to figure out why MY child doesn't want to write? I don't expect perfection. one time I told him he could write anything he wanted to (this was after trying to get him to do a paragraph of what he just read) But he cried and cried and cried and refused and said his head was going to explode. So when the paper was finally finished it was something like this...
"... I hate my mom. my head hurts. Why does everyone hate me. I can't think of anything to write. If I have to miss my brother's party I'd rather die. ..." etc, etc...
So yeah. He finally wrote a whole page. this is something he has never done before for any teacher. since then he has written 2 other pages very similar, but he is STARTTING to write.
I believe learning to write to be so important. maybe it's because it's MY way of being vocal. But truly every great leader in history has been able to write their thoughts and feelings. Even great scientists and artists need to learn to write what they think and see and feel in order to gain the respect of their communities.
So yeah, I am a stickler on writing. Not penmanship, not spelling, not punctuation. Just on writing. Getting thoughts to words to computer or paper. If I can help him do that, I think he can feel more free to express all those things tied up inside him.
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