the story of my damn dog.

This morning I was heading out the door for work around quarter to 6am. In the front room I saw my daughter asleep on the couch and under her feet was my dog Toddy (you see that Bill - I spelled it your way instead of Tottie) She was using the dog as a foot rest and he was wagging his tail contentedly.

My dog can hop our block wall. He gets out ALL THE TIME. He has cost us a bundle this year with concerned citizens that call animal control and complained about that damn dog on the loose.
He's big. He Barks. He looks scary when he barks.
My husband complains about the dog a lot.
5 years ago I was at a neighbor's garage sale. We were in the process of remodeling our home and getting ready to move. we had no time or space for a dog. In a box at the garage sale was a litter of cute black and white puppies - Black Lab/Border collie mix (my two favorite dogs and a DREAM mix for me). I picked up a few and cuddled them and told the owners - I shouldn't, my husband will Kill me. I will just get my puppy cuddling fix here and then go home. But... Maybe I should call Bill and ask him. I know he'll tell me "no" and that will settle it.
SO I called home...
My sister in Law answered and said Bill was at the Art Festival that he and I were supposed to go to as soon as I came home. I was a little upset that he didn't wait for me. SO I brought the puppy home. I did chose the quietest and sweetest puppy in the box. The kids named him Toddy. Bill named him "black male". So his full name became "Toddy Blackmail". I told Bill I could take him back to the original owners if he didn't want the dog. By that time all the kids were hooked on this cute black puppy that was barely weened. Poor Bill did not have the best start of a relationship with this damn dog his wife brought home.

I was raised on a ranch with dogs all over the place. The dogs stayed outside. they slept in the barn. So, my dog was going to be an outside dog. The first several months of Toddy's life were mostly in his kennel so he wouldn't pee all over our newly carpeted house. I took him running 3 times a day. morning were around a 2 mile radius of the neighborhood, afternoon were around the park and evening were in the hills of the leash. To this day my Dog poops and walks around. He doesn't just squat and do his business - he has this wierd squatting walk and drops his business in a trail. This is my fault. I was often unprepared as a dog owner when walking him through the neighborhood. when he would squat to do his thing on a neighbor's lawn or on a sidewalk, I would pull his leash and drag him to a better spot do poop. SO... since day one with me - he has been walk/squat/pooping. this comes in handy when someone accuses my dog of pooping on their lawn. I can take a look at the neat little pile of poop all in one lump and say "nope, not my dog. He poops in a trail." It's true. it also comes in handy when I want to accuse someone else's dog of pooping on my front lawn. "see this is YOUR dog's Poop. my dogs poop goes in a trail shape, this one here - it's a LUMP! clearly NOT MY dog's Poop!"
on another side not - when we are hiking in the hills - my Dog will find a BUSH and Poop in the BUSH, Not on the trail meant for people. I didn't teach him this - but it's another reason why my dog is freakin awesome!

When Toddy was about 7 months old, we moved to a new house with a big yard. I was SO excited that Toddy would have a big yard to run in. I would finally have my perfect outside dog...
Not so.
he learned quickly he could easily climb over the fence we had at the time and get out. So, we paid a neighbor (who has since moved) to build a nice block wall to keep our dog in. Well the neighbor ALMOST finished the wall (4 years ago - I am still a little bitter) and my dog can still hop the ALMOST what we asked for block wall.
the chain link gate can also be pushed open Toddy found out. So... my dog became an inside dog.
IF we had the money to finish the wall (the neighbor is loong gone and won't finish it right) we would STILL have a problem with the gate. IF we had the time and resources to finish the gate we would STILL have a hoppable block wall.

So, my outside Dog is an inside dog. I know a thing or two about dogs like mine. HE NEEDS to do stuff. He needs to run! that was what I wanted, a dog I could run with unlike the basset hound I had as a teenager I had to drag along on a walk when I really wanted to run. SO I have my running dog now. it's a good thing and a bad thing. If I don't run with him, he gets frustrated and grouchy and then he gets out and runs and barks at people.

I have 5 kids and a neighborhood full of kids that come and go in and out of my house. that means that at any given point, the door could be left open and my dog might get out. and he will.
It's something I have come to terms with. The people who take walks in front of my house have NOT come to terms with it. Toddy has cost us some money with fees and tickets for his escapades. Bill has a court date tomorrow to argue that the last time Toddy was in trouble was NOT our fault. We actually had him chained up for once (something I HATE doing to a good dog) and our little neighbor boy that loves my dog, decided to let him off the chain. (yup - we are not amused) and that's when a woman came by with her yippy dog, my dog Yawped back and she screamed and filed a complaint. soooo....
why put up with this nuisance of an animal? we got rid of the chicken killing dogs and have kept just Toddy - my favorite dog.

There is something about this Damn dog that I love.
When I was depressed I would go for walks at sunrise with just my dog. It would be me, my dog and the sun coming up over the cliffs of Zion in the mornings. I would watch him run through the hills as I sat and prayed and I felt Gods Love when my dog would come back to me wagging his tail looking for affection.

I have felt peace and serenity when I sat on the couch with my damn dog next to me, his head on my lap.

I have felt joy watching him play endlessly in a river with my kids.

I have felt hope watching my son come home from school after a rough day with a bully he'd collapse in his room and cry into my damn dog's fur and tell the damn dog things he didn't want me to hear. I would see my son hold the dog and relax.

I have felt Pride watching my kids read books on dog training, taking the dog out for walks and becoming responsible kids learning what it takes to take care of this damn animal. my Kindegartner's main job is to make sure Toddy has food and water.

I asked my kids yesterday why in the world we should keep a dog that costs us so much in food, liscenses, vet fees and a pain with the tickets for getting out.

My 12 year old said "he's like my brother, I love him. He makes me laugh and he's SOOO cute. Besides we've had him longer than we have had Ferrell (the youngest brother age 3) so it makes more sense to get rid of Ferrell." (hahahaha - very funny Evan)
Gabe my 10 year old said "I remember the day you brought him home. But I don't remember my life without him. He's a part of our family"

For me - he is like another child - this damn dog of mine.
I have heard people say "who wants a dog? you have to clean up their poop, feed them, walk them etc... they are just a nuisance." ummmm what are kids?
all of my kids I have had to clean up poop (trust me potty training messes are worse than any dog mess), feed them 3 times a day instead of once a day, I have to take them out to parks, play with them, and train them as well. In fact - kids are harder to train than dogs.
My dog obeys me more often than my kids do.
My 3 year old escapes often. we have put up what we refer to as "Ferrell Locks" in our house so he stays trapped inside. But even then, I have had neighbors tell me they have found my crazy kid in their house or Yard. He's a hassle and a handful. I clean up his poop all the time and it's bad now that we are potty training.
My other kids all have their faults - it makes sense that we are more patient with our kids than our pets. we are willing to keep training a kid, keep them safe at all costs and work with the issues given. But a damn dog? The question always arises, why do we keep such a nuisance?

Sure, my life would be easier without my damn dog. But it would also be easier without my damn kids and my damn husband too. In fact, life would be pretty easy with just me. I could go anywhere I wanted not have any responsibilities...

Yup dogs and kids and marriage - they all make life a little more complicated.

But, my life is better because of my marriage, my life is better because of my kids and guess what? yup, my damn dog makes my life just a little more rich and full. and it has a lot to do with how I feel when I am with that Damn dog of mine.

The difference between how I feel about my kids and my damn dog?
If my kids went missing - I would NEVER stop looking for them. If something tragic happened to one of them, I would mourn for months, maybe years and I would NEVER get over it.

If my dog went missing I would look for him for months. If he came to a tragic end, I would cry for weeks, maybe mourn for months, but I would get over it eventually. He is a dog after all, not my kid.
But I still Love that damn dog of mine.

running the red rock relay

The Red Rock Relay is a 186 mile foot race. Each relay team has 12 members that switch off running so you average about 15.5 miles each during the course of the race. some team members run a little more, some a little less. The terrain is mountainous, cold, hot, dusty, dark, all depending on the time of day and where you are.
Our Team name we chose was "WTF" for: Witness the Fitness!
There are 2 vans on each team. I was in the Snow van or van 1. Van 2 was called the sun Van. The Sun Van consisted of:
Mark Thornton and his wife Holly, Randi (Sanderson was her maiden name - forgot the married name - sorry), Elizbeth Killian, Marlene and another Kim.

In van 1 were: Me, Kim mower, Wendy Smart, Erica, Sheila and Connie. the latter 3 I just met on this event. Van one drove up to Cedar City and Met up with Robin Sanderson and her daughter Randi. Randi was running on our team but in Van 2 and Robin was going to be following in her support vehicle with food and love and picture taking! yeah! These ladies are good friends of mine and I was happy to have them on the same team as I was on.
the 8 of us shared a room at a resort hotel in Brian Head and tried to get some sleep before the big day. I don't sleep well in a hotel with a bunch of silly girls. Kim Mower seemed like she wanted to stay up and giggle and chat. Go To BED KIM! She even made cookies at 11:00pm - really? I love you Kim - BUT GO TO BED!

We started off at 8:10am in Brian Head from the top of a mountain on a bike trail. Our team rode the ski lift to the top to wish our first runner good luck.

Erica twisted her ankle right away as she jumped off the ski lift in 30 degrees Freezing cold without warming up or stretching and slipped on a rock on the bike trail. She kept running and nearly beat us back down the hill on her 3 mile trail run.







we were taking pictures at the bottom of the hill when one of our racer said "here's Erica!" ALREADY? crap! Kim was next and the slap bracelet/baton was handed off. Kim's run was titled "Diablo" for good reason - all of it uphill! not a nice gentle slope but a mean climb in the mountainous terrain of Brian Head.






The bracelet kept switching runners a couple more times after each runner on our team finished their miles. Then it was going to be my turn. I was nervous. My training had been minimal to none and I was unsure about my ability to keep up with my team and their running efforts. I did not want to disappoint them. As I saw my relay team member climbing up her last stretch of her run "coach Michelle" kicked in. "Run Sheila! don't let that guy beat you! Kick his trash!" We were laughing alongside a team of police officers also cheering on their man "Get her! don't let a girl beat you!" It was all in good fun. We were all laughing as we were competing with this group of men.




I felt great starting my run. then the altitude problems kicked in. Breathing that high up was hard. I was focusing on my breath and forgot my form. I never felt like I could completely catch my breath. I saw the police officer ahead of me several yards and knew I could "kill" (pass) him. I felt amazing overtaking him until I notice the taped knee. I no longer felt as cool as I had before. Yeah, passing an older man with an injured knee...





I passed a couple of people and a couple of people passed me. I think I am an average runner. not great, not bad.
Here I was in the woods and I couldn't see any other runners around. My team had gone up ahead with the van to give me support a couple of miles later so I could have some water. But it was mostly just me, the wilderness, the road and my thoughts. (Oh and some Beastie Boys music blaring through my ipod)
My thoughts became "what if a bear attacks me? who will find me first?" I was happy to see other vehicles occasionally as they waited for their runners.



I felt amazing coming to the homestretch of my first leg. I was happy to see my van, my team and the switch off point. I loved running through the dirt portion of just a few yards. Dirt running loves my legs much more than road running.
I handed the bracelet off to Wendy Smart and she started her leg. It would be several more hours before my second leg of the race. Now I could eat some real food and relax and stretch. I felt awesome! I beat my estimated time by a LONG shot and was feeling on top of the world. No sweat! 3.9 miles down and feeling good!
no problem - yet... 2 more legs to go.






Wendy was running now. I LOVE Wendy. Her story is awesome. She is one of my first bootcamp clients. A year and a bit ago, she came to me at 166 pounds and WAY out of shape. She would be winded when running around a playground - not even 1/4 mile! Now she is doing the red rock and down to 130 pounds and is amazing!

Anyway...
Back to the Redrock. so Wendy is on her way.
After She finishes it will be time to switch to the other Van (the Sun van) to do their legs of the race. We met up with them at the switch off point and their first runner took the bracelet from Wendy and headed off. We also went to the next transition point after that to see the switch off to the next runner and to See Mark finish his first killer leg of his race. The cop team was way ahead of us now and we wouldn't see them much from here on out.


Robin Sanderson busted out the goodies - chicken salad, fruit, yummies of all kinds. she took good care of us.
Then we Drove off to SUU in Cedar where we were hoping to get some sleep before running our 2nd legs of the race. The view on the drive was amazing! the pictures I took could not do the justice of capturing the scenery we were enjoying on this amazing adventure.
So we got to SUU and tried to rest.
Yeah... sleep... Great concept... didn't really happen. There was this LOUD band playing... and people all over... and well... adrenaline... just really tough to sleep when you need it. I was also starting to feel my calves a little and needed to keep my legs stretch and pliable.
We did however, giggle, visit and have a great time getting to know each other. I think I closed my eyes for all of 30 minutes? if I was lucky. Some of our team was able to shower. I didn't want to clean up just to get out and run again. So I rested as much as my mind and the noise would let me.






Van 2 caught up with us at SUU a few hours later and it was our team's turn. the sun was starting to set by now. Connie was the first runner on the 2nd leg of this portion of the race. She would run from SUU to somewhere west of there about 5 miles later where I would start my portion. It was now time for head lamps and reflector vests and it was dark!
I hate running in the dark. It was nice and cool but not cold so I felt good still. My music was on, and I was off! This was the longest leg for me. 4.9 miles. not too long but long enough that it was about the extent of my training I had done so far. But in my other "training" I had had plenty of rest and hadn't run 3.9 miles before that. So... yeah... I didn't do as well as I planned to do. I did take my walking breaks and tried pacing with some really good runner that caught up to me... bad idea. Trying to keep up with her exhausted me a little too quickly so I held back a little more and kept a pace of about 9-10 minute miles. I only took a couple of walking breaks and then the hill showed up. I didn't think there was that much of a hill in the outline they gave us - but there it was on the last portion of my dark long leg of my race. I think this was when I forgot to watch my form once again. I was yelling and swearing at the hill but I ran most of it and only took a short walking rest. I had to dig deep a little and swore that next time I would do some hill training. I kept pretending I was at Bootcamp and Kim was making me do hill sprints. It was what helped pull me through. Thank goodness for Hill sprints at bootcamp. I enjoyed the pain of that hill when I went to that place in my mind.

I didn't take anymore pictures during the night since it was dark and I wasn't used to Bill's camera. But we had a LOT of fun during the evening portion of this race. we blared the music, got out and danced like fools, sang loudly, and laughed til we cried. I hope someone got some pictures that I can use later...
This late night portion of the race was on a dirt road. The van was kept to around 10 mph to avoid stirring up dust for runners. Most other vans honored that same code of trust. But there were a couple of Vans that sped by and kicked up a bunch of dust leaving the runner with a cloud of crap to breathe in. nice. Kim and Sheila and Erica got the worst of the dusty dirt road. The rest of us had mostly pavement.

Our 2nd legs were up around 1am and we went to a church in Newcastle to meet up with the other van as they started their 2nd legs and we were able to get some... sleep... ?... we hoped...
It seemed like forever before we could settle down into our beds. Erica and Connie slept outside, Wendy's hubby had volunteered at this site and Wendy was able to sleep in her own vehicle and Kim, Sheila and I attempted to sleep in my van.

Every sound kept me up. People talking outside our van, other vehicles starting up to drive off to their next leg of the race. my legs were now starting to really hurt. not my knees or joints or shins, but it was my calves.
We had set our alarms for about 5:15am to drive off to Veyo for the next van transition. Wendy was concerned about being late and woke us up about 30 minutes early. A good nights sleep was not to be had. So we were off again. As we started driving out of Newcastle I heard this weird crunchy rasping sound and we realized our bike rack had fallen down! what the ... (WTF?)

To go off on a little side note here - MOST of the people we met were amazing people. MOST of the teams that were competing were really really cool people. MOST of them...
BUT... there were a few - very few that I would not choose to spend a minute with outside of the race. One team had a few people that gave us dirty looks. They had the same team initials as we did and when someone on our team mentioned it excitedly to them - they gave dirty looks - hello Junior HIGH!
THEN - there were the Jerks that were speeding along the dirt road as they ran that dusty length of road.

So, when we got out to take a look at the bike rack I realized that the ONLY WAY it could have fallen was if someone had pulled out the pin. It took us several minuted to get the bike rack back up and get thing lined up and adjusted in the dark. we missed our next runner by about 15 minutes. It makes me wonder... who would have been that dishonest and downright filthy. we weren't in the race to win - just have fun. we were not a threat to anyone. kind of creepy.

I was the next runner. it was my 3rd leg (which reminds me of a funny story...)
I met my hand off runner in Veyo and started up a hill toward Dameron Valley. Most of my first push was uphill. I actually enjoyed it. I was able to run most of it. There were a LOT of people training for the marathon on this strip of road since it is part of the St. George Marathon route. It was 6:00am and perfect running time. This was my time to run normally and it was back in the desert I am familiar with. I LOVED being familiar with the run. My legs were sore from earlier running, but once I got started, my legs were warm and I felt good once again. It's funny that it's when you STOP running that it hurts. as long as I was running my legs felt fine.
I met up with a runner that seemed to have a similar running pace and started chatting with her. She would be doing the Marathon next month and was training for it. She was keeping a 9 minute mile pace with walking breaks - perfect! My loaner garmin battery had run out so I paced with her and took a walking break with her.

after a while she was taking more walking breaks than I needed so I moved on and passed her and thanked her for assisting me. I was able to get up the hill fine, and move on to the nice more even terrain. I had several "kills" which surprised me. I really didn't think I would even survive the 3rd leg. But I felt great! The sun was rising over the hills and it was getting to be a gorgeous morning. my ipod battery had also died. so it was just me - the road and the sunrise. It was spiritual. In a way I was glad to have no Beastie Boys blaring in my ears. But when it got tough, I wished I had some music going to pump me up a little. There was the transition point in the distance. I was able to "open up" and run a little harder and make a couple more "kills" as I came in - that always feels good. Then it was Erica's turn. Erica and Connie had the prettiest and best places and times to run - sunrise from somewhere around Dameron valley into Snow Canyon Park and then Snow canyon Park into Ivins... Gorgeous! Perfect temperature - perfect places!






I was done and able to rest in the van and watch my team members. NOW my legs hurt! I had thought I could handle another leg if needed. I had heard a rumor that Randi (in van 2) was in too much pain to continue. previous to my 3rd leg I felt like I could take her leg on as well if needed... but not anymore. Now I had stopped running and I new I was done! my 3rd leg was over and my legs were finished!
I was glad to be done. Now it was time to support my team and cheer them on.
Sheila picked up the race in Ivins and was going to run toward Skyline drive. On paper it didn't look all that hard. But then there was this hill and the sun - her last stretch was rough! The sun was now out and our team was running in the southern Utah desert with the sun starting to get full force and we still had to get to Zion National Park.







Sheila finished her uphill transistion and met up with Kim Mower.
Kim got Skyline Drive into Middleton and her Husband met her halfway through her race and ran with her (with his cigarette hanging out of his mouth the whole time - nice). Then Wendy picked it up in middleton and finished off the last 2.1 miles into the Washington rec center. Her last leg was rolling hills all the way in - but she did great.
Our VAN was NOW officially done - but our TEAM still had about 36 miles to go... in the heat of the day through the desert up to ZION. We were not finished.
Our van took advantage of the hours we had until we would see the rest of the team. some went with nearby family - most of us went to IHOP for breakfast/lunch. I was SO HUNGRY! It seemed like I couldn't get enough food. I seriously could not make up my mind what to eat. I was soooo tired of cliff bars,cheese sticks, jerky and trail mix for the past 2 days.

After Breakfast we took Erica home, Connnie had already been dropped off with her family and then Wendy went home with her family. It was down to just me, Sheila and Kim in the Van. we went to my house and showered and then headed up the hill toward Zion where we hoped we could rest once again while we waited for the rest of the team in Van 2 to cross the finish line. This was the hardest stretch of the trip for the runners - uphill to Zion in the mid afternoon in the desert. It was cool for this time of year: 90 degrees. very hot when you are used to running in the early mornings when its 60 degrees out still. We saw our team member Holly on the road looking red and flushed. we had no idea how far away the van was for her support so we stopped and gave her some gatorade and cheered her on. She was grateful and swearing she would never do this again. we drove on looking for the support van #2. Kim got in touch with them and found out that a number of them were too exhausted or in too much pain to last an entire 3rd leg. So they were piggy backing each other or leap frogging to finish it up. One runner would run a mile and then switch with another runner from our team. It was a tough stretch! I learned later that we weren't the only team that had to resort to that. apparently a lot of teams were hitting that exhaustion point. this is where the real test of the teams stamina and endurance kicks in. I was glad I was done and in van 1. I guess that's why I want to do it again next year. I don't know if I would feel the same if I was in van 2.

The entire team (minus Erica) ran across the finish line with Mark around 5:15pm on Saturday. We were DONE!
It felt so good to cross that finish line and call it a day. The sun was hitting the hills. the scenery was beautiful and we had accomplished a great thing. It felt good to be able to say that I was a part of the Red Rock Relay.





My kids and my husband came to Zion Canyon to hug me and congratulate me.

Bill asked me if I wanted to do something fun like hike...
I limped toward the playground and said "let's let the kids play, and I will just lay here... and sleep."




My family went home from Zion after 7:30pm. On our way through Springdale, we still saw a handful of runner still finishing up the race. wow! What a fun party!

I live in a hick town! and LOVE IT! Who knew?

It's the 24th of July. For those not acquainted with Utah or Mormon (LDS or members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) history - this is a day that the "Mormons" celebrate kind of a "founding Day" in memory of when the great pioneer trek across the plains into Utah was completed by the first wagon train that had Brigham Young in it and they first saw the Salt Lake Valley. There were other groups that followed and endured unimaginable suffering and hardship. But we celebrate the 24th and honor all the pioneers and their journeys and hardships.

I spent my teenage into young adulthood years in California and although we celebrated that day in our churches - it was usually a smaller, quiet celebration. We didn't have parades, or an all day long celebration or Fireworks. we would go to our church during the day and the "Stake" (larger area organization made up of several congregations) would have a party.

Then I moved to Utah. If you have ever been to SLC, Utah you may have been there for the "Days of 47" parade- yup - it's a pioneer day celebration - complete with professional country singers, Rose parade style parade, rodeos, fireworks and A HUGE celebration in Salt Lake and Provo and other big "cities of Utah. AMAZING that such a huge event can come from something the majority of the nation does not even recognize as a day of celebration.

Then, there is the smaller town - like ours. LaVerkin... LaVerkin, LaVerkin...
I remember the year our little town canceled fireworks for the 4th of July but had them on the 24th of July. I wonder if they will do that this year? the 4th fireworks were canceled - will the 24th? it's only 6:00pm - to soon for me to know.

I spent the day today with my 3 youngest kids doing stuff I would have never done in the LA area (or Slat Lake city for that matter). I relaxed at a 10 minute parade consisting of about 4 small floats, a tractor, a horse and wagon and a fire truck. a bunch of Primary kids dressed in Pioneer garb squirting the crowd with water guns, and a few parents walking alongside watching their little ones to make sure they didn't fall off the little floats. Candy was thrown by the city council. just enough for my little 2 year old and my kids to share without getting too sick and not even enough to fill the bottom layer of a sack (I like it that way).

My 2 other kids Ilia (8) and Dane (5) were sitting on our primary's entry float dressed in their take of Pioneer style clothing and paper brown vests for the boys - bonnets for the girls. My 2 year old waved his excited "Hi Dane and Ilia" and held up his bag of candy to show them what he had collected.

and then the parade was over. it lasted not even 10 minutes - maybe. Ferrell and I and the dog walked back to our car. It took us longer to get to our car than it did to watch the parade. But I liked that. just enough for a 2 year old attention span.

after the parade I went to pick up kids at the church where the 1/2 mile long (I mean how far it traveled not the length of entries) parade ended and the kids gathered and we went to the park.

Anyone driving by would not have realized that there was actually a pioneer day celebration happening. There are NOT a ton of booths and excitement happening. there were maybe 50 families that chose to go to the park with their kids. But the park did have this going on:
- a variety of foot races and tug of war
- water balloon launching - the adults were trying to hit the kids that stood willingly in the grassy field just waiting for the water to hit them to cool them off on a hot day.
- a water dunk tank. you know the kind. you throw 4 baseballs and see if you can hit the target and the person falls into the water.
- a kiddie pool with ice in it. this was for the kids to learn what it feels like to cross an icy river. although really appreciated, somehow I don't think it's quite the same when you have a hot desert July day and you GET to put your toes into an ice pool. But still - I think it got the point across a little.
- a place to try the old game of Stick pull that Joseph Smith loved to play as a boy.

There were a variety of singers and performers on a small stage under the pavilion to provide entertainment, Some were AMAZING, some kind of good and others just willing to get up there and belt it out. some of my favorite (and all for different reasons) were: the accordion - not always in tune, but a joy to be a part of the small town experience. The fiddle playing - GREAT! it even got the kids up dancing. and some of the singing was FABULOUS! Of the dozen people that sang, maybe a couple could be considered "professional quality". The others were just a lot of fun. These were NOT hired professionals that you see in a big city event. these were my neighbors. It was fun to see them share their talents.

and then we had free lunch!

I think my favorite thing about the whole small town event was that it just got us over to the park to visit and we could play without worrying about the kids. LaVerkin is a dinky little 2 stoplight town. Here we were at the Park and our kids were playing so hard. the lines were not too long to do any activity. The city council and Church leaders and families were all in the mix. I got to watch my little boy throw his first baseball at the target and see the look of wonder at the magic of watching someone fall in the water because he hit the target (the kid has good aim). I got to watch my 6 year old run out in the field with the big kids to try and catch a water balloon and see him giggle and squeal as he was drenched with water balloons. I got to watch my 8 year old daughter conquer her fears as she volunteered to sit on the seat of the dunk tank to be dumped by the baseball throwing crowd. I got to enjoy watching my 2 year old join the other crazy kid in trying to break dance and play air guitar as the performers sang their hearts out. it was truly "great" entertainment. not the same as big city entertainment that would have been hired to play on a larger stage. No, this was better. kids, families, parents, a few scattered grandparents - just enjoying the day together - laughing at the silliness of it all.
and what would a small town LaVerkin event be without the traditional dumping of the water buckets on unsuspecting friends. I am just glad I got designated as the camera holder person to make sure electronic equipment wasn't ruined.

Kendra - I hope your i pod that was in your backpack when Brandy got you turns out fine.

My kids were soaked head to toe when it was finally time to go home. we all slept for a couple of hours afterward.

I never really thought I would ever enjoy living in such a small town. But I do. I love that my friends were at the park with their kids and Kendra's daughter lovingly persuaded my daughter to get in that dunk tank even though she was soooo scared. It was something a mother couldn't do on her own and only a sweet friend could have convinced her to do. I had to watch at a distance so she didn't know I was observing the whole thing. other wise she would have chickened out if she saw me. I was thrilled that I could do that - that their was not a big crowd there and it was simple to do from the side of a tree just a short distance away without 100's of kids in the way. as it was, there were about 100 or so kids at the park total - maybe. My view of all my children was perfect. I could be talking to a friend at one end of the park and say "Where did Ferrell go and turn my head and see him on the other side of the park with about 5 or 6 other kids his age playing in a puddle made by the hose.

It has been a perfect day. I live in a hick town that is sooooo small. as a teenager this would have driven this LA girl crazy. But as a parent - I LOVE IT! this is the place for me and my family. who knew I would ever love living in UTAH of all places!

when I married Bill in California and he asked me where I would want to live - my response was literally "anywhere BUT UTAH!" And when my family would drive through southern Utah on our way to California or Wyoming, I would say as we pumped gas in St. George in mid July "who in their right mind would ever live in this Hell hole? you would have to be totally crazy to live out here." and here I am. It's taken a while for me to actually willingly say this...
but this Wyoming girl gone LA girl gone Utah - dare I say it? - yes I do - I actually loves it here.
a big part of my childhood just died as I wrote that. I grew up singing songs with my cousins around a campfire that were all about how Wyoming was superior to Utah and that living in Utah was awful bad. Did you ever hear the song "Don't send my boy to Utah, a dying mother said, Don't send my boy to Utah, I'd rather see him dead. Send him to Old Wyoming...." yup - I grew up on that. so I had to swallow hard to write the words: I am really enjoying living in my Utah hick town of LaVerkin.

Maybe I could live in a small town in another state and feel the same way if they had some weird local founder's day celebration too. But this is where I live and this is what we do. and I LOVE IT! life is good.

Watched my friend's house burn to the ground...

Yesterday my husband and I were driving home from a baptismal service when I saw smoke. Initially whenever I see smoke I assume someone is just burning weeds and all is well. I was half right. someone was burning weeds - during dry season - fire season - in a residential neighborhood - without a burn permit - during 110 degree weather - in the desert - on a hill with lots of tall dead grass - right under my friend Ann Wixom's home.

We were among the first responders to the scene. Steve Leavenworth assisted Ann and Rick Wixom in getting their family out of the house. Bill (my husband) began looking for water hoses and assisting neighbors in drenching whatever they could to reduce the spread of the fire. They tried to move Ricks vehicles out of the driveway, but the keys were left in the house and the first car in the driveway they were unable to get the steering wheel unlocked and in neutral. so the cars stayed where they were and the guys went on to work on everything else. Bill was in his suit and tie and I was in high heels and a dress. It was touching to see several men in suits and ties that responded to the smoke just get right to work on assisting with anything they could do. Unfortunately the house was too dangerous to enter in again to rescue anything. The Wixoms barely got out with just their family. they got one of their 2 dogs out, but the other dog wouldn't go with them and they couldn't get their cat.

Ann and Rick and the 3 kids that were home sat on a neighbor's lawn with no shoes on their feet, no cell phones, and sobbed about the dog and cat they had to leave behind as they watched the flames engulf their home. I loaned my cell phone to Ann so she could call Rick's mother Lorraine to come get the kids.

I felt so helpless watching my friend in shock as she watched her house burn - watching the little girls sob about their dog and all the things they love going up in smoke. The girls sobs really got to me the most: "my dog is my best friend and I will never see him again - my grandma bought me my favorite toy and it's gone - my swimsuit is in that fire - everything I love is gone! - the toy I sleep with that makes me feel better is gone - we don't have a place to live anymore!" she just kept going and going with big crocodile tears rolling down her cheeks. Her Mom and dad tried to comfort her but were in shock themselves. Ann was sobbing about her dog and cat and so couldn't be a comfort to her girls right then either.

I kept thinking about when I learned my dog had died when I was a little girl and how we had made up a story about how he had run away to find an epic journey somewhere else. So I started making up a story about how the dog will have jumped out a window unnoticed and ran far away. No matter whatever happened to the dog - they need to think he got away safely even if they never see it again.

Lorraine Wixom(Grandma - Rick's mother) came and got Ann and the 3 kids and took them to her house - still with no shoes on their feet.

I was looking for Bill so that we could go back home to our own kids. I couldn't find him anywhere. I asked everyone I saw if they knew where Bill was. no-one on the top of the Hill had seen my husband for quite some time. But I knew where the man I married would be. He would be in the thick of things, in his suit, in the mud helping the neighbors hose down their homes. He would be ruining his church clothes without a second thought. That is why I love him. Well, It's just ONE of the reasons why anyway. He's a good man with a big heart. Or maybe he just wanted the thrill of getting into it and seeing what he could do to stop the fire. either way, I know my man and I knew where he was even when I had no idea where he was. You know what I mean?

The feeling of helplessness is consuming.
I cried with Ann. I didn't know what else to do. I needed to do something.
Often times people that want to help do the wrong thing or overstep the family's comfort level. I felt awkward. Here I was in High Heels and a dress unable to get down the Hill - unable to comfort a family I love and just not knowing what to do.

In our church, the woman's organization - the Relief Society - is usually the group to organize efforts and do something for families in need. I didn't know who Ann's RS president was, But I knew ours was having a wedding reception for her son.

I went over to Lorraine's home and asked her what I could do. The sweet woman was overwhelmed. She had no idea what to do next. She had her grandbabies and her Baby (A now grown man) that she was in shock with. What do you do? You're a single woman and have just taken in a family to your home without notice. You love them and will do anything for them. But what now?

I realized that these guys had no shoes - no clothes to change into - no clean underwear - no toothbrushes.

I Got the family's sizes and e-mailed them to my RS president and I told some neighbors to look for anything they had on hand to bring over to them.

I went home and told my rentor downstairs and Her cute little Girl (Kirsten) went to work looking for toys, shoes and clothes she could part with. My Daughter Ilia also went through her clothes and found a few cute things she could give away. She also took 3 of her favorite Barbies and put them in the donation bag.

I went back to Lorraine's house and brought the supplies over. The girls were thrilled. I had nothing for the teenage boys though. My kids were too little to give hand-me-downs to teenage boys.

The look on the Girl's faces made my day. I kept getting hugs from the youngest. She was so sweet. I fell in love with that little girl.

I went into the kitchen and asked Lorraine what she had planned for dinner. She was just starting to get a pot out to start spaghetti. But I looked at her and realized, she was really struggling with wrapping her head around everything. what a challenge for her to have to think about dinner when she was dealing with her family. I know the last thing I would want to do would be to prepare a big meal for a family and have to do dishes when I really just want to hold my family.

I told her we would get some Pizza and got the order from the teenagers what their favorite was.
My neighbors, Christy and Joe Webb helped pitch in for a Pizza for the kids.
on the way to pick up the Pizza I was hit with the thought that I Should stop by our local grocery store (Farmer's Market) and see if they could do anything for the family.

What a great local business. when I told them the story of what had just happened, they told me to take a cart and get whatever they thought would help this family and they would cover it for them.
COOL!
I wasn't sure how generous they had wanted to be and I wanted to make sure the family had enough for a couple of days while they figured out what next. PLUS I didn't have a lot of time since I still needed to go pick up the Pizza. So I grabbed a watermelon, some carrots, salad bags, bananas - that's the healthy side of me. and then the mom kicked in
peanut butter
bread
jelly
cereal
milk
already made orange juice
frozen lasagna
chips and salsa
string cheese
goldfish crackers
and then the grandma thought came in
they need a cake
soda
and paper goods
who wants to do dishes??
I am sure there were other things as well that I loaded into the cart.

I then went and got the Pizza, took all the food over to the family.
Bishop Stackhouse and his wife Daniella were over there. as well as someone else bringing a bag of stuff for the family. People were fast to respond to the family's needs.

The Boys cheered when they saw the Pizza. the girls had bonded with me and they were excited to show me the new clothes and shoes they had.

I told the family how Farmers Market (local grocery store) had donated all this food for them. One of the teenage boys that was helping haul groceries in with me said "you know, I guess things like this help people come together." a mature thought from a teenage boy that just lost his home. good kid.

I didn't get back to my own family until close to 9:00pm. Joe and Christy Webb had made my family dinner. I love those guys.

There was a moment yesterday as I was holding the little girls and they were sobbing that I told them that as sad as it was that their house was gone, they would soon found out how much people love them, that friends would help them out and that the community would do anything for them they could. this is a time when they will feel more love from other people.

and it's true.

I have been so impressed by the love and generosity of everyone in the church, neighborhood and surrounding community including business owners.

Ann and Rick's son went on for a little bit as he discussed the sad but necessary purpose of this fire. It really does bring out good in people, generally speaking.

They will end up being ok because they are a strong family with a lot of love, but also because of the love the community has for them.

If you are in the neighborhood and read this blog in time. there will be a bake sale Monday June 27th at the Farmer's Market in LaVerkin Utah. If you want to help out in some other way - feel free to email me or comment on this blog and I will see if I can point you in the right direction to assist them.

Deja vu...

I had this deja vu moment yesterday that was what I consider amazing. But I have to premise the story by telling you where I was when I had the “flash forward” (ever watch that show? I love it) or “future dream” or “misplaced memory” or whatever you want to call what it is when you have a glimpse into the future for a brief moment sometimes years before you have the experience that you call deja vu.

Six years ago I lived in a 2 bedroom town home with 3 kids. I was very successful in my Creative Memories (party plan scrapbooking) Career as a Leader. I was able to pay the bills on my income and LOVED teaching and training a team. I saw myself doing it for the REST of my life. I was a die hard “why would anyone leave this?” kind of leader.

I had a dream/flash forward right around that time. The dream was this:
I was in a fitness studio with a boy about 12 years old that was severely obese and his mother – also obese. I was conducting a fitness test and talking to him about how cool it was that he had lost 10% body fat and he was stronger and same with his mom. I was telling him how proud of him I was... and then I looked at the clock...
It was after 6:00pm. I was supposed to be home at 6:00. my kids were home alone and I thought to myself. “crap, I'm late and my kids are alone I need to rush this fitness test.” and then in my Flash Forward 6 years ago this amazing feeling of peace came over me and a whispering to my heart that said “your kids will be ok. This boy needs you right now at this moment. Your kids are fine.” I remember after that weird flash forward moment thinking to myself “that's weird. I don't know what that was about, I would never do anything other than Creative Memories. I would never leave my kids alone. It would never be OK.” I was kind of freaked out by the “dream” and rejected it as anything of value in my world.

So... Guess what happened to me yesterday?
Give up?
I was in my fitness studio that I have been running since November 2009. There was this young man and his mother and I was trying to hurry through their fitness assessments. I was impressed by the progress the young man was making and I began talking to him when I looked at the clock and thought...”Crap, I'm late and my kids are alone. I need to rush this fitness test along.” when all of a sudden this feeling came over me. It was a peaceful whispering to my heart and the feeling that entered my mind were this: “ You are where you are needed right now. This boy needs you. Your kids will be fine.”

I was floored. I had that moment of “I've had this experience before” and it all came flooding back at once, where I was when I had that “flash forward” , my thoughts then and the rejection of it.

I took a look around at my life... Choosing to let go of being a leader with a company I was with for so long (creative memories) was a hard choice. It was HARD to decide to go to a “job” that would take me out of the home more than a few hours a week once or twice a week. I put in long hours and I ask a lot of my kids to make the household work.

At times I feel a little guilty. BUT – I also feel like I am doing what God wants me to do. When I had the impression that I needed to get back into personal training it was an overwhelming all consuming feeling that I could not shake. I tried to keep God as my focus when going forward with all of this. I try hard not to let my ambition get in the way of being a mother. It is a TOUGH balancing act to do both without compromising one. I often feel like one of them has to give more than I want more often than I want.

With my husband traveling for work and being gone this past week,it was especially hard on me to go to my fitness studio knowing my kids would be fending for themselves for dinner.
Luckily, I do have amazing kids. I am only 2 minutes away, so in an emergency I can get home fast. and my 12 year old is usually a good babysitter.
They have been working hard. We have good days and bad days at home. But they are doing things that amaze me.

And then there is the reward of the work I do...
this kid and his mom... where do I begin...
they are typical clients for me: Obese, never really pushed themselves too hard, fast food and soda is a typical meal, video games and TV and facebook as typical pasttimes... actually a very typical view of the American way of life as it is today.

So... they both lost weight (nice)
BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY - their heart rates went from off the chart HORRIBLE to ATHLETIC levels! The son lost 10% of body fat!
They were able to do more of exercises that on day one they would have collapsed trying even ONE!
The young man and his mom left saying thank you after I made them sweat like dogs and pushing a little harder to get the work done.

It was an amazing moment for me. Then I went home and did a load of laundry and cooked some tomatoe soup and some sandwiches and cut up some kiwi for dinner.

My days are tough. I wake up at 5am and get off to bootcamp. After Bootcamp I do long distance running training until I need to get into the office at 7am and do some training until my replacement at 9am. Then I go home throw in some laundry kiss the family, make some breakfast we eat and pray and read scriptures together and discuss the day and I am off again – this time with the 2 year old in tow and we head back to my fitness studio where he goes to the play room I created for him and I train clients from around 11am until I take a lunch break during a dead moment. I then take the baby home For my oldest to babysit and I get my dog (so my 2 year old doesn't let him loose in the streets) and he sits next to my desk at the fitness studio the rest of the day while I again train clients. I get home around 6pm, switch the laundry, cook some dinner and clean up the disaster area of a house that is typically created due to my absence. If there are no meetings or other classes this is my down time to spend with my kids. We hug and wrestle and laugh and dance and lip sync. And then we crash. I am asleep by 10pm normally. And that is my life. And I LOVE IT!

All in all - I feel good about where I am.
That dejavu moment was really cool to help me to reflect on the positve things that are happening and why I do what I do.

So whatever the science is behind it, thanks! I appreciate it! I actually feel like it was God's way of saying I had chosen the right path. pretty cool if you ask me.