Deja vu...

I had this deja vu moment yesterday that was what I consider amazing. But I have to premise the story by telling you where I was when I had the “flash forward” (ever watch that show? I love it) or “future dream” or “misplaced memory” or whatever you want to call what it is when you have a glimpse into the future for a brief moment sometimes years before you have the experience that you call deja vu.

Six years ago I lived in a 2 bedroom town home with 3 kids. I was very successful in my Creative Memories (party plan scrapbooking) Career as a Leader. I was able to pay the bills on my income and LOVED teaching and training a team. I saw myself doing it for the REST of my life. I was a die hard “why would anyone leave this?” kind of leader.

I had a dream/flash forward right around that time. The dream was this:
I was in a fitness studio with a boy about 12 years old that was severely obese and his mother – also obese. I was conducting a fitness test and talking to him about how cool it was that he had lost 10% body fat and he was stronger and same with his mom. I was telling him how proud of him I was... and then I looked at the clock...
It was after 6:00pm. I was supposed to be home at 6:00. my kids were home alone and I thought to myself. “crap, I'm late and my kids are alone I need to rush this fitness test.” and then in my Flash Forward 6 years ago this amazing feeling of peace came over me and a whispering to my heart that said “your kids will be ok. This boy needs you right now at this moment. Your kids are fine.” I remember after that weird flash forward moment thinking to myself “that's weird. I don't know what that was about, I would never do anything other than Creative Memories. I would never leave my kids alone. It would never be OK.” I was kind of freaked out by the “dream” and rejected it as anything of value in my world.

So... Guess what happened to me yesterday?
Give up?
I was in my fitness studio that I have been running since November 2009. There was this young man and his mother and I was trying to hurry through their fitness assessments. I was impressed by the progress the young man was making and I began talking to him when I looked at the clock and thought...”Crap, I'm late and my kids are alone. I need to rush this fitness test along.” when all of a sudden this feeling came over me. It was a peaceful whispering to my heart and the feeling that entered my mind were this: “ You are where you are needed right now. This boy needs you. Your kids will be fine.”

I was floored. I had that moment of “I've had this experience before” and it all came flooding back at once, where I was when I had that “flash forward” , my thoughts then and the rejection of it.

I took a look around at my life... Choosing to let go of being a leader with a company I was with for so long (creative memories) was a hard choice. It was HARD to decide to go to a “job” that would take me out of the home more than a few hours a week once or twice a week. I put in long hours and I ask a lot of my kids to make the household work.

At times I feel a little guilty. BUT – I also feel like I am doing what God wants me to do. When I had the impression that I needed to get back into personal training it was an overwhelming all consuming feeling that I could not shake. I tried to keep God as my focus when going forward with all of this. I try hard not to let my ambition get in the way of being a mother. It is a TOUGH balancing act to do both without compromising one. I often feel like one of them has to give more than I want more often than I want.

With my husband traveling for work and being gone this past week,it was especially hard on me to go to my fitness studio knowing my kids would be fending for themselves for dinner.
Luckily, I do have amazing kids. I am only 2 minutes away, so in an emergency I can get home fast. and my 12 year old is usually a good babysitter.
They have been working hard. We have good days and bad days at home. But they are doing things that amaze me.

And then there is the reward of the work I do...
this kid and his mom... where do I begin...
they are typical clients for me: Obese, never really pushed themselves too hard, fast food and soda is a typical meal, video games and TV and facebook as typical pasttimes... actually a very typical view of the American way of life as it is today.

So... they both lost weight (nice)
BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY - their heart rates went from off the chart HORRIBLE to ATHLETIC levels! The son lost 10% of body fat!
They were able to do more of exercises that on day one they would have collapsed trying even ONE!
The young man and his mom left saying thank you after I made them sweat like dogs and pushing a little harder to get the work done.

It was an amazing moment for me. Then I went home and did a load of laundry and cooked some tomatoe soup and some sandwiches and cut up some kiwi for dinner.

My days are tough. I wake up at 5am and get off to bootcamp. After Bootcamp I do long distance running training until I need to get into the office at 7am and do some training until my replacement at 9am. Then I go home throw in some laundry kiss the family, make some breakfast we eat and pray and read scriptures together and discuss the day and I am off again – this time with the 2 year old in tow and we head back to my fitness studio where he goes to the play room I created for him and I train clients from around 11am until I take a lunch break during a dead moment. I then take the baby home For my oldest to babysit and I get my dog (so my 2 year old doesn't let him loose in the streets) and he sits next to my desk at the fitness studio the rest of the day while I again train clients. I get home around 6pm, switch the laundry, cook some dinner and clean up the disaster area of a house that is typically created due to my absence. If there are no meetings or other classes this is my down time to spend with my kids. We hug and wrestle and laugh and dance and lip sync. And then we crash. I am asleep by 10pm normally. And that is my life. And I LOVE IT!

All in all - I feel good about where I am.
That dejavu moment was really cool to help me to reflect on the positve things that are happening and why I do what I do.

So whatever the science is behind it, thanks! I appreciate it! I actually feel like it was God's way of saying I had chosen the right path. pretty cool if you ask me.