the story of my damn dog.

This morning I was heading out the door for work around quarter to 6am. In the front room I saw my daughter asleep on the couch and under her feet was my dog Toddy (you see that Bill - I spelled it your way instead of Tottie) She was using the dog as a foot rest and he was wagging his tail contentedly.

My dog can hop our block wall. He gets out ALL THE TIME. He has cost us a bundle this year with concerned citizens that call animal control and complained about that damn dog on the loose.
He's big. He Barks. He looks scary when he barks.
My husband complains about the dog a lot.
5 years ago I was at a neighbor's garage sale. We were in the process of remodeling our home and getting ready to move. we had no time or space for a dog. In a box at the garage sale was a litter of cute black and white puppies - Black Lab/Border collie mix (my two favorite dogs and a DREAM mix for me). I picked up a few and cuddled them and told the owners - I shouldn't, my husband will Kill me. I will just get my puppy cuddling fix here and then go home. But... Maybe I should call Bill and ask him. I know he'll tell me "no" and that will settle it.
SO I called home...
My sister in Law answered and said Bill was at the Art Festival that he and I were supposed to go to as soon as I came home. I was a little upset that he didn't wait for me. SO I brought the puppy home. I did chose the quietest and sweetest puppy in the box. The kids named him Toddy. Bill named him "black male". So his full name became "Toddy Blackmail". I told Bill I could take him back to the original owners if he didn't want the dog. By that time all the kids were hooked on this cute black puppy that was barely weened. Poor Bill did not have the best start of a relationship with this damn dog his wife brought home.

I was raised on a ranch with dogs all over the place. The dogs stayed outside. they slept in the barn. So, my dog was going to be an outside dog. The first several months of Toddy's life were mostly in his kennel so he wouldn't pee all over our newly carpeted house. I took him running 3 times a day. morning were around a 2 mile radius of the neighborhood, afternoon were around the park and evening were in the hills of the leash. To this day my Dog poops and walks around. He doesn't just squat and do his business - he has this wierd squatting walk and drops his business in a trail. This is my fault. I was often unprepared as a dog owner when walking him through the neighborhood. when he would squat to do his thing on a neighbor's lawn or on a sidewalk, I would pull his leash and drag him to a better spot do poop. SO... since day one with me - he has been walk/squat/pooping. this comes in handy when someone accuses my dog of pooping on their lawn. I can take a look at the neat little pile of poop all in one lump and say "nope, not my dog. He poops in a trail." It's true. it also comes in handy when I want to accuse someone else's dog of pooping on my front lawn. "see this is YOUR dog's Poop. my dogs poop goes in a trail shape, this one here - it's a LUMP! clearly NOT MY dog's Poop!"
on another side not - when we are hiking in the hills - my Dog will find a BUSH and Poop in the BUSH, Not on the trail meant for people. I didn't teach him this - but it's another reason why my dog is freakin awesome!

When Toddy was about 7 months old, we moved to a new house with a big yard. I was SO excited that Toddy would have a big yard to run in. I would finally have my perfect outside dog...
Not so.
he learned quickly he could easily climb over the fence we had at the time and get out. So, we paid a neighbor (who has since moved) to build a nice block wall to keep our dog in. Well the neighbor ALMOST finished the wall (4 years ago - I am still a little bitter) and my dog can still hop the ALMOST what we asked for block wall.
the chain link gate can also be pushed open Toddy found out. So... my dog became an inside dog.
IF we had the money to finish the wall (the neighbor is loong gone and won't finish it right) we would STILL have a problem with the gate. IF we had the time and resources to finish the gate we would STILL have a hoppable block wall.

So, my outside Dog is an inside dog. I know a thing or two about dogs like mine. HE NEEDS to do stuff. He needs to run! that was what I wanted, a dog I could run with unlike the basset hound I had as a teenager I had to drag along on a walk when I really wanted to run. SO I have my running dog now. it's a good thing and a bad thing. If I don't run with him, he gets frustrated and grouchy and then he gets out and runs and barks at people.

I have 5 kids and a neighborhood full of kids that come and go in and out of my house. that means that at any given point, the door could be left open and my dog might get out. and he will.
It's something I have come to terms with. The people who take walks in front of my house have NOT come to terms with it. Toddy has cost us some money with fees and tickets for his escapades. Bill has a court date tomorrow to argue that the last time Toddy was in trouble was NOT our fault. We actually had him chained up for once (something I HATE doing to a good dog) and our little neighbor boy that loves my dog, decided to let him off the chain. (yup - we are not amused) and that's when a woman came by with her yippy dog, my dog Yawped back and she screamed and filed a complaint. soooo....
why put up with this nuisance of an animal? we got rid of the chicken killing dogs and have kept just Toddy - my favorite dog.

There is something about this Damn dog that I love.
When I was depressed I would go for walks at sunrise with just my dog. It would be me, my dog and the sun coming up over the cliffs of Zion in the mornings. I would watch him run through the hills as I sat and prayed and I felt Gods Love when my dog would come back to me wagging his tail looking for affection.

I have felt peace and serenity when I sat on the couch with my damn dog next to me, his head on my lap.

I have felt joy watching him play endlessly in a river with my kids.

I have felt hope watching my son come home from school after a rough day with a bully he'd collapse in his room and cry into my damn dog's fur and tell the damn dog things he didn't want me to hear. I would see my son hold the dog and relax.

I have felt Pride watching my kids read books on dog training, taking the dog out for walks and becoming responsible kids learning what it takes to take care of this damn animal. my Kindegartner's main job is to make sure Toddy has food and water.

I asked my kids yesterday why in the world we should keep a dog that costs us so much in food, liscenses, vet fees and a pain with the tickets for getting out.

My 12 year old said "he's like my brother, I love him. He makes me laugh and he's SOOO cute. Besides we've had him longer than we have had Ferrell (the youngest brother age 3) so it makes more sense to get rid of Ferrell." (hahahaha - very funny Evan)
Gabe my 10 year old said "I remember the day you brought him home. But I don't remember my life without him. He's a part of our family"

For me - he is like another child - this damn dog of mine.
I have heard people say "who wants a dog? you have to clean up their poop, feed them, walk them etc... they are just a nuisance." ummmm what are kids?
all of my kids I have had to clean up poop (trust me potty training messes are worse than any dog mess), feed them 3 times a day instead of once a day, I have to take them out to parks, play with them, and train them as well. In fact - kids are harder to train than dogs.
My dog obeys me more often than my kids do.
My 3 year old escapes often. we have put up what we refer to as "Ferrell Locks" in our house so he stays trapped inside. But even then, I have had neighbors tell me they have found my crazy kid in their house or Yard. He's a hassle and a handful. I clean up his poop all the time and it's bad now that we are potty training.
My other kids all have their faults - it makes sense that we are more patient with our kids than our pets. we are willing to keep training a kid, keep them safe at all costs and work with the issues given. But a damn dog? The question always arises, why do we keep such a nuisance?

Sure, my life would be easier without my damn dog. But it would also be easier without my damn kids and my damn husband too. In fact, life would be pretty easy with just me. I could go anywhere I wanted not have any responsibilities...

Yup dogs and kids and marriage - they all make life a little more complicated.

But, my life is better because of my marriage, my life is better because of my kids and guess what? yup, my damn dog makes my life just a little more rich and full. and it has a lot to do with how I feel when I am with that Damn dog of mine.

The difference between how I feel about my kids and my damn dog?
If my kids went missing - I would NEVER stop looking for them. If something tragic happened to one of them, I would mourn for months, maybe years and I would NEVER get over it.

If my dog went missing I would look for him for months. If he came to a tragic end, I would cry for weeks, maybe mourn for months, but I would get over it eventually. He is a dog after all, not my kid.
But I still Love that damn dog of mine.