Watched my friend's house burn to the ground...

Yesterday my husband and I were driving home from a baptismal service when I saw smoke. Initially whenever I see smoke I assume someone is just burning weeds and all is well. I was half right. someone was burning weeds - during dry season - fire season - in a residential neighborhood - without a burn permit - during 110 degree weather - in the desert - on a hill with lots of tall dead grass - right under my friend Ann Wixom's home.

We were among the first responders to the scene. Steve Leavenworth assisted Ann and Rick Wixom in getting their family out of the house. Bill (my husband) began looking for water hoses and assisting neighbors in drenching whatever they could to reduce the spread of the fire. They tried to move Ricks vehicles out of the driveway, but the keys were left in the house and the first car in the driveway they were unable to get the steering wheel unlocked and in neutral. so the cars stayed where they were and the guys went on to work on everything else. Bill was in his suit and tie and I was in high heels and a dress. It was touching to see several men in suits and ties that responded to the smoke just get right to work on assisting with anything they could do. Unfortunately the house was too dangerous to enter in again to rescue anything. The Wixoms barely got out with just their family. they got one of their 2 dogs out, but the other dog wouldn't go with them and they couldn't get their cat.

Ann and Rick and the 3 kids that were home sat on a neighbor's lawn with no shoes on their feet, no cell phones, and sobbed about the dog and cat they had to leave behind as they watched the flames engulf their home. I loaned my cell phone to Ann so she could call Rick's mother Lorraine to come get the kids.

I felt so helpless watching my friend in shock as she watched her house burn - watching the little girls sob about their dog and all the things they love going up in smoke. The girls sobs really got to me the most: "my dog is my best friend and I will never see him again - my grandma bought me my favorite toy and it's gone - my swimsuit is in that fire - everything I love is gone! - the toy I sleep with that makes me feel better is gone - we don't have a place to live anymore!" she just kept going and going with big crocodile tears rolling down her cheeks. Her Mom and dad tried to comfort her but were in shock themselves. Ann was sobbing about her dog and cat and so couldn't be a comfort to her girls right then either.

I kept thinking about when I learned my dog had died when I was a little girl and how we had made up a story about how he had run away to find an epic journey somewhere else. So I started making up a story about how the dog will have jumped out a window unnoticed and ran far away. No matter whatever happened to the dog - they need to think he got away safely even if they never see it again.

Lorraine Wixom(Grandma - Rick's mother) came and got Ann and the 3 kids and took them to her house - still with no shoes on their feet.

I was looking for Bill so that we could go back home to our own kids. I couldn't find him anywhere. I asked everyone I saw if they knew where Bill was. no-one on the top of the Hill had seen my husband for quite some time. But I knew where the man I married would be. He would be in the thick of things, in his suit, in the mud helping the neighbors hose down their homes. He would be ruining his church clothes without a second thought. That is why I love him. Well, It's just ONE of the reasons why anyway. He's a good man with a big heart. Or maybe he just wanted the thrill of getting into it and seeing what he could do to stop the fire. either way, I know my man and I knew where he was even when I had no idea where he was. You know what I mean?

The feeling of helplessness is consuming.
I cried with Ann. I didn't know what else to do. I needed to do something.
Often times people that want to help do the wrong thing or overstep the family's comfort level. I felt awkward. Here I was in High Heels and a dress unable to get down the Hill - unable to comfort a family I love and just not knowing what to do.

In our church, the woman's organization - the Relief Society - is usually the group to organize efforts and do something for families in need. I didn't know who Ann's RS president was, But I knew ours was having a wedding reception for her son.

I went over to Lorraine's home and asked her what I could do. The sweet woman was overwhelmed. She had no idea what to do next. She had her grandbabies and her Baby (A now grown man) that she was in shock with. What do you do? You're a single woman and have just taken in a family to your home without notice. You love them and will do anything for them. But what now?

I realized that these guys had no shoes - no clothes to change into - no clean underwear - no toothbrushes.

I Got the family's sizes and e-mailed them to my RS president and I told some neighbors to look for anything they had on hand to bring over to them.

I went home and told my rentor downstairs and Her cute little Girl (Kirsten) went to work looking for toys, shoes and clothes she could part with. My Daughter Ilia also went through her clothes and found a few cute things she could give away. She also took 3 of her favorite Barbies and put them in the donation bag.

I went back to Lorraine's house and brought the supplies over. The girls were thrilled. I had nothing for the teenage boys though. My kids were too little to give hand-me-downs to teenage boys.

The look on the Girl's faces made my day. I kept getting hugs from the youngest. She was so sweet. I fell in love with that little girl.

I went into the kitchen and asked Lorraine what she had planned for dinner. She was just starting to get a pot out to start spaghetti. But I looked at her and realized, she was really struggling with wrapping her head around everything. what a challenge for her to have to think about dinner when she was dealing with her family. I know the last thing I would want to do would be to prepare a big meal for a family and have to do dishes when I really just want to hold my family.

I told her we would get some Pizza and got the order from the teenagers what their favorite was.
My neighbors, Christy and Joe Webb helped pitch in for a Pizza for the kids.
on the way to pick up the Pizza I was hit with the thought that I Should stop by our local grocery store (Farmer's Market) and see if they could do anything for the family.

What a great local business. when I told them the story of what had just happened, they told me to take a cart and get whatever they thought would help this family and they would cover it for them.
COOL!
I wasn't sure how generous they had wanted to be and I wanted to make sure the family had enough for a couple of days while they figured out what next. PLUS I didn't have a lot of time since I still needed to go pick up the Pizza. So I grabbed a watermelon, some carrots, salad bags, bananas - that's the healthy side of me. and then the mom kicked in
peanut butter
bread
jelly
cereal
milk
already made orange juice
frozen lasagna
chips and salsa
string cheese
goldfish crackers
and then the grandma thought came in
they need a cake
soda
and paper goods
who wants to do dishes??
I am sure there were other things as well that I loaded into the cart.

I then went and got the Pizza, took all the food over to the family.
Bishop Stackhouse and his wife Daniella were over there. as well as someone else bringing a bag of stuff for the family. People were fast to respond to the family's needs.

The Boys cheered when they saw the Pizza. the girls had bonded with me and they were excited to show me the new clothes and shoes they had.

I told the family how Farmers Market (local grocery store) had donated all this food for them. One of the teenage boys that was helping haul groceries in with me said "you know, I guess things like this help people come together." a mature thought from a teenage boy that just lost his home. good kid.

I didn't get back to my own family until close to 9:00pm. Joe and Christy Webb had made my family dinner. I love those guys.

There was a moment yesterday as I was holding the little girls and they were sobbing that I told them that as sad as it was that their house was gone, they would soon found out how much people love them, that friends would help them out and that the community would do anything for them they could. this is a time when they will feel more love from other people.

and it's true.

I have been so impressed by the love and generosity of everyone in the church, neighborhood and surrounding community including business owners.

Ann and Rick's son went on for a little bit as he discussed the sad but necessary purpose of this fire. It really does bring out good in people, generally speaking.

They will end up being ok because they are a strong family with a lot of love, but also because of the love the community has for them.

If you are in the neighborhood and read this blog in time. there will be a bake sale Monday June 27th at the Farmer's Market in LaVerkin Utah. If you want to help out in some other way - feel free to email me or comment on this blog and I will see if I can point you in the right direction to assist them.

Deja vu...

I had this deja vu moment yesterday that was what I consider amazing. But I have to premise the story by telling you where I was when I had the “flash forward” (ever watch that show? I love it) or “future dream” or “misplaced memory” or whatever you want to call what it is when you have a glimpse into the future for a brief moment sometimes years before you have the experience that you call deja vu.

Six years ago I lived in a 2 bedroom town home with 3 kids. I was very successful in my Creative Memories (party plan scrapbooking) Career as a Leader. I was able to pay the bills on my income and LOVED teaching and training a team. I saw myself doing it for the REST of my life. I was a die hard “why would anyone leave this?” kind of leader.

I had a dream/flash forward right around that time. The dream was this:
I was in a fitness studio with a boy about 12 years old that was severely obese and his mother – also obese. I was conducting a fitness test and talking to him about how cool it was that he had lost 10% body fat and he was stronger and same with his mom. I was telling him how proud of him I was... and then I looked at the clock...
It was after 6:00pm. I was supposed to be home at 6:00. my kids were home alone and I thought to myself. “crap, I'm late and my kids are alone I need to rush this fitness test.” and then in my Flash Forward 6 years ago this amazing feeling of peace came over me and a whispering to my heart that said “your kids will be ok. This boy needs you right now at this moment. Your kids are fine.” I remember after that weird flash forward moment thinking to myself “that's weird. I don't know what that was about, I would never do anything other than Creative Memories. I would never leave my kids alone. It would never be OK.” I was kind of freaked out by the “dream” and rejected it as anything of value in my world.

So... Guess what happened to me yesterday?
Give up?
I was in my fitness studio that I have been running since November 2009. There was this young man and his mother and I was trying to hurry through their fitness assessments. I was impressed by the progress the young man was making and I began talking to him when I looked at the clock and thought...”Crap, I'm late and my kids are alone. I need to rush this fitness test along.” when all of a sudden this feeling came over me. It was a peaceful whispering to my heart and the feeling that entered my mind were this: “ You are where you are needed right now. This boy needs you. Your kids will be fine.”

I was floored. I had that moment of “I've had this experience before” and it all came flooding back at once, where I was when I had that “flash forward” , my thoughts then and the rejection of it.

I took a look around at my life... Choosing to let go of being a leader with a company I was with for so long (creative memories) was a hard choice. It was HARD to decide to go to a “job” that would take me out of the home more than a few hours a week once or twice a week. I put in long hours and I ask a lot of my kids to make the household work.

At times I feel a little guilty. BUT – I also feel like I am doing what God wants me to do. When I had the impression that I needed to get back into personal training it was an overwhelming all consuming feeling that I could not shake. I tried to keep God as my focus when going forward with all of this. I try hard not to let my ambition get in the way of being a mother. It is a TOUGH balancing act to do both without compromising one. I often feel like one of them has to give more than I want more often than I want.

With my husband traveling for work and being gone this past week,it was especially hard on me to go to my fitness studio knowing my kids would be fending for themselves for dinner.
Luckily, I do have amazing kids. I am only 2 minutes away, so in an emergency I can get home fast. and my 12 year old is usually a good babysitter.
They have been working hard. We have good days and bad days at home. But they are doing things that amaze me.

And then there is the reward of the work I do...
this kid and his mom... where do I begin...
they are typical clients for me: Obese, never really pushed themselves too hard, fast food and soda is a typical meal, video games and TV and facebook as typical pasttimes... actually a very typical view of the American way of life as it is today.

So... they both lost weight (nice)
BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY - their heart rates went from off the chart HORRIBLE to ATHLETIC levels! The son lost 10% of body fat!
They were able to do more of exercises that on day one they would have collapsed trying even ONE!
The young man and his mom left saying thank you after I made them sweat like dogs and pushing a little harder to get the work done.

It was an amazing moment for me. Then I went home and did a load of laundry and cooked some tomatoe soup and some sandwiches and cut up some kiwi for dinner.

My days are tough. I wake up at 5am and get off to bootcamp. After Bootcamp I do long distance running training until I need to get into the office at 7am and do some training until my replacement at 9am. Then I go home throw in some laundry kiss the family, make some breakfast we eat and pray and read scriptures together and discuss the day and I am off again – this time with the 2 year old in tow and we head back to my fitness studio where he goes to the play room I created for him and I train clients from around 11am until I take a lunch break during a dead moment. I then take the baby home For my oldest to babysit and I get my dog (so my 2 year old doesn't let him loose in the streets) and he sits next to my desk at the fitness studio the rest of the day while I again train clients. I get home around 6pm, switch the laundry, cook some dinner and clean up the disaster area of a house that is typically created due to my absence. If there are no meetings or other classes this is my down time to spend with my kids. We hug and wrestle and laugh and dance and lip sync. And then we crash. I am asleep by 10pm normally. And that is my life. And I LOVE IT!

All in all - I feel good about where I am.
That dejavu moment was really cool to help me to reflect on the positve things that are happening and why I do what I do.

So whatever the science is behind it, thanks! I appreciate it! I actually feel like it was God's way of saying I had chosen the right path. pretty cool if you ask me.