Happy Valentine's day from the Mother Load...

Here is another great article from my friend Sarah that writes for the Spectrum...
ENJOY - (again not my writing, but I love it!)


Valentine’s Day is Saturday (you’re welcome, all you men who forgot). Being a student , I find myself fascinated with the origins of just about everything, and holidays are no exception. Unlike certain people in my life (*cough* Mom) who would ban the Easter bunny because of its origins as a pagan fertility symbol, I’m not on my quest to do away with holiday traditions whose origins I find personally objectionable. I just want the information so I can feel smarter than your average Valentine.



Looking into the origins of holidays is not unlike cleaning out your fridge. The more you dig, the less sure you are of what you’ve actually discovered. There are several versions of the Valentine story. I’ll let you decide which you prefer.

Version 1: Early Europeans believed that February 14th was the day all birds began to choose their mates. This belief has its origins in Chaucer, who wrote that Europeans believed this. Europeans, embarrassed that they didn’t already know they believed this, began believing it and pretending that they had always believed it. This led to mass expressions of love as a distraction from the fact that nobody actually knew what they really believed.



Version 2: The Pagans celebrated the feast of Lupercalia every February to honor the Roman God Lupercus and thank him for saving their flocks from wolves. Girls names were drawn from a box by the boys in attendance and the couples were considered partners for a year. The Christians renamed this celebration Valentine’s Day and encouraged the pagans to draw the names of saints instead. The pagans weren’t having it, probably because dead saints weren’t very good kissers.



Version 3: Emperor Claudius, annoyed that the men of his empire were less than willing leave their wives and fiancés to fight in his wars, placed a moratorium on marriages and declared all engagements canceled. Saint Valentine secretly performed marriages and was thrown into prison, where he died. It’s unknown whether any children of those secret marriages were named Valentine in his honor, because, well, they were secret.



Version 4: St. Valentine was imprisoned by Claudius for helping Christians. While in prison, he cured a jailer’s daughter of her blindness and/or fell in love with her and wrote her letters signed, “From your Valentine.” Claudius didn’t like the idea of his prisoners performing miracles and/or writing love notes and had Valentine clubbed and/or beheaded on February 14, 269 A.D. It’s unclear whether or not this Valentine is the same as the one in the previous version because they’re both dead and can’t be reached for comment.



Version 5: St. Valentine, upon being rejected by his mistress, cut out his own heart and sent it to her, still beating, as a token of his love. According to some scholars, we give heart-shaped boxes of chocolate and send heart shaped cards in the mail in remembrance of his passion and suffering. I would add mental illness, but I’m sure there’s another holiday set aside for that (it’s called Black Friday).



Whichever version you choose, it’s obvious that this holiday is steeped in tradition and rich with history. When you look into the eyes of your love this Saturday, remember wolves, wars, disembodied heads, and bloody, beating hearts sent through the mail.



If you’re now too disgusted to give that heart-shaped box of chocolates to your sweetheart, do feel free to send it to me via The Spectrum.

(Thank You Sarah!)

Happy Valentine's Day - Tomorrow.. so Happy Friday the 13th!

I was listening to Valentine Horror stories on the radio this morning and realized "Oh my gosh, I have one. I WAS ONE! I was the crappy Valentine's Date from Hell to a poor boy." I have never written about and only told a few people about it. I decided that in celebration of Valentine's Day I would write about my bad deed on that special day.

Bill HATES this story...

it was 1996, I was living in Southern California and going to Saddleback College in Mission Viejo. Most of my college buddies were really really "rowdy" (to put it mildly). So I had found a friend among the rowdy ones that only liked to hang out with them but didn't party like them - just like me. He was a great guy and we started dating. Randy was a born again Christian, he didn't drink and he believed sex was for a husband and wife only. So we had the same basic life styles and core belief system. We had the same larger group of friends and I really enjoyed being around him. One time when things were serious he and I had a little chat.

Randy: so, your a mormon huh?
Me: yup
Randy: where are things going with us?
Me: not sure, for now I enjoy being around you.
Randy: I can't marry someone that isn't a born again christian
Me: great! I can't marry someone not LDS
Randy: so... what now? do we break up?
Me: well, I guess we could. truth is, I already know who I am going to marry.
Randy: really? are you dating someone else right also?
Me: no, he's actually on a mission in South America right now.
Randy: oh. has he proposed to you?
Me: no. Nick, you believe in the holy Ghost right?
Randy: yes
Me: you believe that the Holy Ghost can witness things to you right?
Randy: yes
Me: well the best I can explain it is that the Holy Ghost has told me that I will one day marry Bill.
Randy: that's cool. I get it.
Me: so what now
Randy: I guess we can keep hanging out, keep each other out of trouble and we don't get serious. Then when he comes home it's over. Deal?
Me: Sounds good - Deal.

a month later, February 2nd 1996, Bill comes home. I tell Randy that my future husband is home, he's fine with things he says. a few days later I invite Bill to Disneyland (we aren't really dating yet) and he can't go with me. So who do I call? Randy. I mean, I was invited on a double date with some Marni Manley and her date, I HAD to have a date and Bill couldn't go. So Randy went with me. (Bill is still insanely jealous about it).
Then a week later is Valentine's Day. Bill and I had gone out once to a Church dance and that was it. we hadn't gotten serious, he hadn't really taken things anywhere yet, (he had only been home less than 2 weeks, can't say I expected things to go anywhere yet).
So... who asks me out on Valentine's Day? Randy!!!!
(not Bill - your own fault Bill, quit getting jealous!)
I accept his invitation for a date I thought was going to be a casual hanging out.

Poor guy...
He shows up at my house dressed up nice and with a dozen ROSES!
I thank him. and we get in his car.
He says we are going to go see the most incredible view of the ocean from the mountains where he has a special surprise waiting for me. (crap)
So He takes me to the top of a Hill near Laguna. It was incredible, the ocean, the stars Laguna below us - absolutely breath taking! we walk over to where he had someone set up a picnic, with candles, music, the whole 9 yards. and he had MADE Chocolate covered Strawberries just a couple hours before he showed up to take me out. He had gone all out.
I didn't know what to say. It was too much. no, really, it really was too much.
We ate, we didn't say much. He asked me to dance. As soon as he grabbed my hand, I stopped him.
"Randy, you have done too much. Your a great guy. But, I have to call it quits with you. Bill has been home for 2 weeks and I know he's the one. You should probably take me home."

Yup. I broke up with a great guy on Valentine's day. He had gone all out and kicked some butt on the romantic date planning, and I crushed him. I suck!

well there is my Valentine Horror Story.

Bill and I were engaged 3 weeks later.

Bill - I love you! Sorry I am scum.
Randy - wherever you are, sorry I am scum. You are a good guy, just not MY guy.

It's funny...

It's been a while since I've "blogged"...
that phrase is funny to me. you see, that's how almost every journal entry in every journal I have ever had starts.
..."it's been a while since I've written..." As if I owe someone an apology for my laziness. when in fact it is not laziness but busy - ness that keeps me from blogging.

Yes, I have been home-schooling. I kind of feel guilty that I am not liking it as much as other moms seem to like it. It is a real sacrifice to make sure I make that time to prepare and sit and teach and help. I get very frustrated with my son.
but here is what I do love - he is doing better than he had a chance to do in school.
Gabe is a difficult kid sometimes. He flat out refuses to do work of any kind unless it is making movies on the computer.
so me... the big genius that I am... decides he gets to have his own blog spot to journal and write in. But what is his Blog now? A huge mess of games and movie downloads. No writing anywhere. hurumph. okay, how to get a kid to write. that is the next problem. He draws comic books and writes a few words or phrases here and there to embellish the story he tells with pictures. He is a great story teller with pictures. I love that he can change facial expressions and body language in a stick figure. amazing to a non-artist like me.
I had the reverse problem in school. Teachers were always saying "Michelle, I asked for a one page essay comparing these 2 poems, I didn't need 13 pages tying in other poetry books and comparisons Please do it over and make it something I can read in one night."
Yeah, I was THAT kid. So it's hard for me to figure out why MY child doesn't want to write? I don't expect perfection. one time I told him he could write anything he wanted to (this was after trying to get him to do a paragraph of what he just read) But he cried and cried and cried and refused and said his head was going to explode. So when the paper was finally finished it was something like this...
"... I hate my mom. my head hurts. Why does everyone hate me. I can't think of anything to write. If I have to miss my brother's party I'd rather die. ..." etc, etc...
So yeah. He finally wrote a whole page. this is something he has never done before for any teacher. since then he has written 2 other pages very similar, but he is STARTTING to write.

I believe learning to write to be so important. maybe it's because it's MY way of being vocal. But truly every great leader in history has been able to write their thoughts and feelings. Even great scientists and artists need to learn to write what they think and see and feel in order to gain the respect of their communities.

So yeah, I am a stickler on writing. Not penmanship, not spelling, not punctuation. Just on writing. Getting thoughts to words to computer or paper. If I can help him do that, I think he can feel more free to express all those things tied up inside him.