This might seem a little too personal, But I need this story shared! I am sending it to newspapers, banks and friends. I am tired of being ripped of by those who I trust to help me get ahead financially -
this is my story:
My husband and I have been married for 13 years. We have experienced feast and famine, ups and downs, struggles and triumphs – especially with finances. My husband had his first experience with a difficult layoff in 2001 after 9/11 put the company he worked for out of commission. He struggled to find work in our region that would pay enough to provide for a family and after going through several jobs, he decided to work for himself as a graphic designer. I pitched in and worked from home to help pay the bills and keep food on the table. We have had some really great years and we have experienced leaned years.
Lately with the economic downturn, our life has been what has become normal to us – tough as usual. But we get by. There are times we are overdrawn and need to pay bills a little late, but we always pay, get our accounts positive and we have not been on welfare to assist us.
I have never changed banks since I was 16 years old. I was with Great Western that was purchased by Washington Mutual and is now taken over by Chase. I have made no major changes to my accounts and have been banking as I normally have over the past 20 years.
I did decide to open accounts in other banks and tried Zions Bank out as well since after I moved there was no WAMU (Chase) in my little town.
I have been used to being overdrawn, paying a fee of $25-$29 for a paid item when I was NSF. But recently after opening an account at Zion and Chase taking over Wamu, I am now charged between $2.50 - $5.00 PER DAY when overdrawn! (this is at both banks)
This may not sound like it’s that big of a deal and you may be thinking, well woman, get your account in order and quit being overdrawn. Great idea!
Here’s a story about how the bank fights small time clients with that idea. About 6 months ago it was an extra lean time for my family. My husband was waiting for a client to pay him so we could pay our bills. Our joint checking we use for household expenses was at zero. SO, I used my very small personal checking to go buy milk and diapers and food about $40 worth BUT I was about $3 off on my checking account balance. I was unaware of this for a couple of weeks. I went in to make a small deposit from some of my odd and end jobs and found I was now overdrawn -$99. My deposit I was hoping would give me $60 in the bank left me at a negative -$39 and I would not have a deposit for at least another week. I also could not get the things I needed for my little family. I came in a week later to make a $100 deposit and now only had $26 instead of the money I needed to pay a few small bills. I made a decision that even though I did not have the money in there, I needed to pay a phone bill of $70 in order to make phone calls to make more money. This made me go negative again to -$44 and the OD fee made me -$73. It would be a couple more weeks until I would be able to make another meager deposit. So 2 weeks later I was now negative - $143. I was getting in deeper and deeper and this continued with Zions bank. This was supposed to be my emergency money for when times were tough I could go get diapers, food or whatever we needed while my husband was waiting for clients to pay him. I did not work a full-time job, just a small hobby business for emergencies. But my banks fees were leading to deeper and deeper financial strain on this small account.
That story was with Zions Bank. 6 months ago
But then, my relationship with WAMU changed as they became Chase. My bank I had been with since I was 16 started doing the same thing and worse!
I have an account for retreats that is only for paying for those retreats. I also have an account that is for my customer orders. I do not mix the money. I had a rough time with business and had some cancellations and refunds I needed to give for a retreat that left me with a SMALL negative balance that I knew I could bring to a positive within a couple of weeks as I collected client payments for the next retreat.
I went to make a deposit in my account BUT my bank had brought it to a positive and closed it for me. The money they used to bring it to a positive was from my customer orders account – this was money people paid me to purchase their supplies – it was GONE! what money do I use to place their orders?
Here what happened – the refunds caused me to be overdrawn $100 plus the OD fee of $35 gave me a balance of a negative -$135 plus the $5/day fee for being overdrawn for 20 days brought me to a negative balance of -$235
I really had no idea I was charged $35 for the OD (that amount had gone up with the changing of the bank nameO and I had no idea I had paid $5/day in this bank I thought I had been with since I was 16. apparently things REALLY change when another bank buys the bank I used to be with. I was banking as usual. Chase decided to take my customer’s money for orders and dump it into my other account and close it out without giving me warning.
Yeah, I am done with those 2 banks. I am now going to be Putting my money under my mattress. why not? There is no interest in these “free” checking accounts. In fact these free checking accounts have cost me over $1000 over the past year.
I wonder who these fees harm? does it harm The guy that makes more than enough money to provide for his family and then some? The guy with the stable job that pays every 2 weeks and has enough money for a trip to Disneyland every year can't understand my problem. Or does it harm more the people that have been laid off, had cut backs effect them, projects diminish, etc…. and are just trying to squeeze by. I feel like I borrowed money from “Vinnie the loan shark” and now my head is in a vice and I can’t get out of his hold. Except it’s not Vinnie, it’s my bank squeezing me beyond dry.
I don’t get it. I mean I know that banks make a lot of their money off of OD fees and the like, But sheeze! This is ridiculous! We are looking at a tough economy with people just trying to get by and the banks are not helping. How does someone barely paying their bills get by when a bank punishes them a daily Overdrawn fee when they fall behind? How can they hope to get ahead? Banks are taking advantage of the poor and struggling and making it worse. It’s time something changed. What are we able to do as consumers to change this. It’s time for a revolt. I am closing my accounts. The bank has made thousands of dollars off my overdraft fees over the past few years. In times of Success, I had kept my savings with them and they made money off the money I kept in CD’s and money market accounts. Now, because they choose to punish and strangle someone who is trying to make it and they are making it nearly impossible to get by in times of difficulty - they will make zero from me in fees from here on out!
Tomorrow I am going to start cashing my checks instead of depositing them. Tomorrow, I buy money orders instead of having a checking account. I use cash when possible, send money orders when checks are needed, and not using a debit card at all anymore. I’ve done it years ago, before debit cards – remember those days? we can go back.
Banks are relying on us strugglers to make them the most amount of money – let’s stop!
Refuse to pay daily OD fees – demand that they be illegal or refuse to banks that charge them. Close your accounts at these kinds of banks!
The only way to get ahead when your job isn’t paying you enough and your bank is raking you over – is to get out of your thieving cheating bank.
I laughed when I walked into Zions Bank the other day and saw this sign “We haven’t forgotten who makes us successful…” ( in reference to the client of course). I laughed because I indeed did contribute to their success. My free checking account has paid them over $1000 this past year. Times that by how many more people are in my shoes – OH yeah we are contributing to their financial gain and they don’t forget by charging us daily when we are down. Thanks, but No thanks! I need a bank like that like I need another hole in my head.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Sandy
several days ago I brought another dog to the pound. we have had Sandy for almost 2 years. I love that darn dog. She has been a handful:
she killed some of our neighbors chickens and even got stuck in the Hardy's oldest son's chicken cooping killing his wive's baby chickens (all of them). Chuck nearly killed my dog for it (can't say I would have blamed him).
Sandy killed a cat in the lot next door to us while my 11 year old son was watching. he was traumatized and cried when he told me how awful it was to witness it. (hopefully it was a stray and not a pet of someone's).
Sandy kills birds, chickens, and cats. she's a dog. she does what dogs do.
She also is smart - she gets out of our yard. she can hop our block wall (that was never finished by those we hired to do it - loooong angry story - not going there.)
plus she pushes open our gate even when I tighten it up or find some kind of method to hopefully deter her effort, she pushes past pain and uses her teeth to pull things apart set up to protect her from getting out of the gate. She cannot be chained up, she has 3 broken collars and 2 broken chains. She also figured out how to get her collar off over her head.
So I decided I would be a great dog owner - train her, work with her, run with her, etc... I thought "maybe she does all this because she is bored?" so I kept her busy - nope. on the days I ran her the hardest and trained and work my butt off with her, she continued to escape.
Sandy is gentle to people. she loves kids and will lick them and cuddle them. She used to sleep with my 4 year old. She was raised with babies. in fact she is only a few months older than my youngest baby. She and he were raised together.
SO... I have put up with her doginess and have tried keeping her indoors and run with her when I take her out. BUT our neighborhood is full of 4 and 5 year old kids that feel free to walk in and out of our home and leave the doors open as well as the gates to the yard (not that the yard gates would matter anyway). I cannot keep my sandy safe from herself.
The other day after a crew of 4 and 5 year olds were running all over my home, there was a knock on my door. There were 3 kids ages 10-12 years old. I know these kids, they know me, they know my dogs. I will keep them nameless since some readers know who they are as well.
There was a girl with tears in her eyes and the leader of the bunch that knows my family best was talking to me. "Sister Ennis, you have got to do something about your dog Sandy. She just killed _________'s pet rabbit while she was playing with it in her front yard."
I was devastated!
This was new. Sandy had never killed an animal while a child was playing with it. she had never even taken a piece of food out of my baby's hand. I had trained her to have self control when a child was holding a hot dog or piece of chicken. Sandy would sit and wait and wimper sometimes. But she would never take something away from a kid. I was crushed!
Sandy went to the pound that day - immediately.
I took my kids with me so they could say good-bye to her. Evan, Gabe and Ilia cried all the way home. Dane was 4 and didn't understand that Sandy was gone for good. He kept saying "is she at a babysitters and we get her tomorrow?" "Sandy will be home tomorrow right mom?" - this was his best buddy that he cuddled with at night. I had taken her away and I was crushed.
I went to the neighbor's house the next day to apologize and tell them I took care of my dog and see if they wanted a replacement bunny.
as I spoke to the mother - the real story emerged...
the little bunny had escaped from it's cage and was in the empty lot next door to us. Sandy and my other dog, Tottie (who does NOT kill rabbits and chickens)had been let out of my home by this family's little boy when he came over and let himself into my home.
so the dog killed the bunny - not right out of the kids hands, but in the lot next door. she again, was just being a dog, not the viscous animal these kids made her out to be. She did not take a bunny out of a girl's hands. the girl was not even near the bunny.
when I told the mother the story, she looked at her daughter and said "could you tell her what really happened please?" the daughter was swallowing hard and trying to explain a little better. "well... it wasn't exactly like that... but she did kill my bunny... not in our yard I guess..."
I asked the mom if she wanted a replacement bunny and the mother said "Please no!"
I am torn up about bringing my dog to the pound. that was not the place for a dog like Sandy. (although I am sure there are a few chicken owning neighbors that will strongly disagree with me)
HOWEVER - we are now down to one dog, and I love it! It is so much easier to have one dog that adores us. He sleeps with Evan and is a lot more obedient now that he is not trying to escape with his friend. now when he escapes, he sits by the house rather than wander the neighborhood with Sandy.
I miss Sandy. I am angry that I got rid of her because some kids decided to over exaggerate the truth and guilt me into getting rid of a dog that was just a dog doing what most dogs do.
BUT I would not get rid of one of my kids for screaming at me and disobeying, lying to me and being a rotten child (we'll wait til they are 14 ish and they have a program for them) just kidding - sort of. No, really, we have some serious struggles with kids at times but they are ours and we love them.
Dogs are similar. we struggle sometimes in training our dogs and getting them to be the kind of pet we want them to be. The difference is - they are dogs, not humans. so we give up faster. we decide that since they are not a child in our family it is fine to be done with them when they are too much stress. we can't choose that with kids without having the law step in and handle things.
I feel so guilty about Sandy. but because I am really enjoying being a one dog home, I am not going to go back to the pound and get her out. I hope someone with a secure yard gets her.
she was a great friend to me and my kids.
she killed some of our neighbors chickens and even got stuck in the Hardy's oldest son's chicken cooping killing his wive's baby chickens (all of them). Chuck nearly killed my dog for it (can't say I would have blamed him).
Sandy killed a cat in the lot next door to us while my 11 year old son was watching. he was traumatized and cried when he told me how awful it was to witness it. (hopefully it was a stray and not a pet of someone's).
Sandy kills birds, chickens, and cats. she's a dog. she does what dogs do.
She also is smart - she gets out of our yard. she can hop our block wall (that was never finished by those we hired to do it - loooong angry story - not going there.)
plus she pushes open our gate even when I tighten it up or find some kind of method to hopefully deter her effort, she pushes past pain and uses her teeth to pull things apart set up to protect her from getting out of the gate. She cannot be chained up, she has 3 broken collars and 2 broken chains. She also figured out how to get her collar off over her head.
So I decided I would be a great dog owner - train her, work with her, run with her, etc... I thought "maybe she does all this because she is bored?" so I kept her busy - nope. on the days I ran her the hardest and trained and work my butt off with her, she continued to escape.
Sandy is gentle to people. she loves kids and will lick them and cuddle them. She used to sleep with my 4 year old. She was raised with babies. in fact she is only a few months older than my youngest baby. She and he were raised together.
SO... I have put up with her doginess and have tried keeping her indoors and run with her when I take her out. BUT our neighborhood is full of 4 and 5 year old kids that feel free to walk in and out of our home and leave the doors open as well as the gates to the yard (not that the yard gates would matter anyway). I cannot keep my sandy safe from herself.
The other day after a crew of 4 and 5 year olds were running all over my home, there was a knock on my door. There were 3 kids ages 10-12 years old. I know these kids, they know me, they know my dogs. I will keep them nameless since some readers know who they are as well.
There was a girl with tears in her eyes and the leader of the bunch that knows my family best was talking to me. "Sister Ennis, you have got to do something about your dog Sandy. She just killed _________'s pet rabbit while she was playing with it in her front yard."
I was devastated!
This was new. Sandy had never killed an animal while a child was playing with it. she had never even taken a piece of food out of my baby's hand. I had trained her to have self control when a child was holding a hot dog or piece of chicken. Sandy would sit and wait and wimper sometimes. But she would never take something away from a kid. I was crushed!
Sandy went to the pound that day - immediately.
I took my kids with me so they could say good-bye to her. Evan, Gabe and Ilia cried all the way home. Dane was 4 and didn't understand that Sandy was gone for good. He kept saying "is she at a babysitters and we get her tomorrow?" "Sandy will be home tomorrow right mom?" - this was his best buddy that he cuddled with at night. I had taken her away and I was crushed.
I went to the neighbor's house the next day to apologize and tell them I took care of my dog and see if they wanted a replacement bunny.
as I spoke to the mother - the real story emerged...
the little bunny had escaped from it's cage and was in the empty lot next door to us. Sandy and my other dog, Tottie (who does NOT kill rabbits and chickens)had been let out of my home by this family's little boy when he came over and let himself into my home.
so the dog killed the bunny - not right out of the kids hands, but in the lot next door. she again, was just being a dog, not the viscous animal these kids made her out to be. She did not take a bunny out of a girl's hands. the girl was not even near the bunny.
when I told the mother the story, she looked at her daughter and said "could you tell her what really happened please?" the daughter was swallowing hard and trying to explain a little better. "well... it wasn't exactly like that... but she did kill my bunny... not in our yard I guess..."
I asked the mom if she wanted a replacement bunny and the mother said "Please no!"
I am torn up about bringing my dog to the pound. that was not the place for a dog like Sandy. (although I am sure there are a few chicken owning neighbors that will strongly disagree with me)
HOWEVER - we are now down to one dog, and I love it! It is so much easier to have one dog that adores us. He sleeps with Evan and is a lot more obedient now that he is not trying to escape with his friend. now when he escapes, he sits by the house rather than wander the neighborhood with Sandy.
I miss Sandy. I am angry that I got rid of her because some kids decided to over exaggerate the truth and guilt me into getting rid of a dog that was just a dog doing what most dogs do.
BUT I would not get rid of one of my kids for screaming at me and disobeying, lying to me and being a rotten child (we'll wait til they are 14 ish and they have a program for them) just kidding - sort of. No, really, we have some serious struggles with kids at times but they are ours and we love them.
Dogs are similar. we struggle sometimes in training our dogs and getting them to be the kind of pet we want them to be. The difference is - they are dogs, not humans. so we give up faster. we decide that since they are not a child in our family it is fine to be done with them when they are too much stress. we can't choose that with kids without having the law step in and handle things.
I feel so guilty about Sandy. but because I am really enjoying being a one dog home, I am not going to go back to the pound and get her out. I hope someone with a secure yard gets her.
she was a great friend to me and my kids.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
phazesfitness.blogspot.com
so, I said I was doing outdoor fitness adventures and bootcamps and such. my blogspot until I have a "real" website is phazesfitness.blogspot.com
Monday morning at 6am I have about 10 potential personal trainers coming to try out for a job. There is a marine, 2 marathon runners and guy who does martial arts and combat training a professional rock climber and a personal trainer as well as a few other assorted types. I am going to get my trash kicked. but that's what I want. I can hardly wait!
by the way - go check out my other blogspot.
right now we just have bootcamps going on, but pretty soon we are adding weekend adventures, hiking, rock climbing, kayaking, etc...
My job is the best!
Monday morning at 6am I have about 10 potential personal trainers coming to try out for a job. There is a marine, 2 marathon runners and guy who does martial arts and combat training a professional rock climber and a personal trainer as well as a few other assorted types. I am going to get my trash kicked. but that's what I want. I can hardly wait!
by the way - go check out my other blogspot.
right now we just have bootcamps going on, but pretty soon we are adding weekend adventures, hiking, rock climbing, kayaking, etc...
My job is the best!
Monday, April 27, 2009
I started a Fitness Bootcamp!
Sometimes I wonder why God directs one path and then that path halts and it is also the right answer. as many of my friends know, I went back to work punching a clock for someone else in the form of a job at Curves. I prayed about the decision and it felt right. It was definitely the right thing to pursue. 7 months later I am quitting. It's weird to call it quits so soon when I thought I was going to be able to give them a year or 2 of my life.
in the process of my time there increasing membership, training team and clients and loving my job as a fitness coach once again - I learned a few things about myself. I am critical and bossy and driven and competitive. I don't take instruction well from someone I have little respect for and I would make a great business owner with a good partner.
SOOOOO...
Enter my new outdoor fitness adventure!!!!
Phazes Fitness - "Outdoor fitness adventures"
I partnered up with an old friend I deeply admire for her skills in administration, business development and her love for fitness and adventure - Robin Sanderson. and my husband Bill has talked his way into being my Director of marketing. It's a great partnership and both Robin and I put in our notices and quit our jobs.
SCARY and exciting at the same time. I feel so good about the decision.
so now, I tie up loose ends at Curves, do some training of the new employees and get on with something I am passionate about more than anything - playing outside! and getting fit doing it!
wow. I can't believe I am on this path. it is a dream coming true right now. I had gone to college to become a personal trainer and fitness instructor and somewhere along the way lost me. I am coming back. My girl, Wendy Smart lost 5 pounds this past week at my Bootcamp!!! it's thrilling to be doing this for people and seeing the change happening in their lives.
So if you check out phazesfitness.blogspot.com that's my business blog. loads of fun! we are going to be doing kayaking, hiking and trail runs, biking, swimming, repelling and rock climbing and so much more!
This should be an amazing journey!
in the process of my time there increasing membership, training team and clients and loving my job as a fitness coach once again - I learned a few things about myself. I am critical and bossy and driven and competitive. I don't take instruction well from someone I have little respect for and I would make a great business owner with a good partner.
SOOOOO...
Enter my new outdoor fitness adventure!!!!
Phazes Fitness - "Outdoor fitness adventures"
I partnered up with an old friend I deeply admire for her skills in administration, business development and her love for fitness and adventure - Robin Sanderson. and my husband Bill has talked his way into being my Director of marketing. It's a great partnership and both Robin and I put in our notices and quit our jobs.
SCARY and exciting at the same time. I feel so good about the decision.
so now, I tie up loose ends at Curves, do some training of the new employees and get on with something I am passionate about more than anything - playing outside! and getting fit doing it!
wow. I can't believe I am on this path. it is a dream coming true right now. I had gone to college to become a personal trainer and fitness instructor and somewhere along the way lost me. I am coming back. My girl, Wendy Smart lost 5 pounds this past week at my Bootcamp!!! it's thrilling to be doing this for people and seeing the change happening in their lives.
So if you check out phazesfitness.blogspot.com that's my business blog. loads of fun! we are going to be doing kayaking, hiking and trail runs, biking, swimming, repelling and rock climbing and so much more!
This should be an amazing journey!
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Happy Valentine's day from the Mother Load...
Here is another great article from my friend Sarah that writes for the Spectrum...
ENJOY - (again not my writing, but I love it!)
Valentine’s Day is Saturday (you’re welcome, all you men who forgot). Being a student , I find myself fascinated with the origins of just about everything, and holidays are no exception. Unlike certain people in my life (*cough* Mom) who would ban the Easter bunny because of its origins as a pagan fertility symbol, I’m not on my quest to do away with holiday traditions whose origins I find personally objectionable. I just want the information so I can feel smarter than your average Valentine.
Looking into the origins of holidays is not unlike cleaning out your fridge. The more you dig, the less sure you are of what you’ve actually discovered. There are several versions of the Valentine story. I’ll let you decide which you prefer.
Version 1: Early Europeans believed that February 14th was the day all birds began to choose their mates. This belief has its origins in Chaucer, who wrote that Europeans believed this. Europeans, embarrassed that they didn’t already know they believed this, began believing it and pretending that they had always believed it. This led to mass expressions of love as a distraction from the fact that nobody actually knew what they really believed.
Version 2: The Pagans celebrated the feast of Lupercalia every February to honor the Roman God Lupercus and thank him for saving their flocks from wolves. Girls names were drawn from a box by the boys in attendance and the couples were considered partners for a year. The Christians renamed this celebration Valentine’s Day and encouraged the pagans to draw the names of saints instead. The pagans weren’t having it, probably because dead saints weren’t very good kissers.
Version 3: Emperor Claudius, annoyed that the men of his empire were less than willing leave their wives and fiancés to fight in his wars, placed a moratorium on marriages and declared all engagements canceled. Saint Valentine secretly performed marriages and was thrown into prison, where he died. It’s unknown whether any children of those secret marriages were named Valentine in his honor, because, well, they were secret.
Version 4: St. Valentine was imprisoned by Claudius for helping Christians. While in prison, he cured a jailer’s daughter of her blindness and/or fell in love with her and wrote her letters signed, “From your Valentine.” Claudius didn’t like the idea of his prisoners performing miracles and/or writing love notes and had Valentine clubbed and/or beheaded on February 14, 269 A.D. It’s unclear whether or not this Valentine is the same as the one in the previous version because they’re both dead and can’t be reached for comment.
Version 5: St. Valentine, upon being rejected by his mistress, cut out his own heart and sent it to her, still beating, as a token of his love. According to some scholars, we give heart-shaped boxes of chocolate and send heart shaped cards in the mail in remembrance of his passion and suffering. I would add mental illness, but I’m sure there’s another holiday set aside for that (it’s called Black Friday).
Whichever version you choose, it’s obvious that this holiday is steeped in tradition and rich with history. When you look into the eyes of your love this Saturday, remember wolves, wars, disembodied heads, and bloody, beating hearts sent through the mail.
If you’re now too disgusted to give that heart-shaped box of chocolates to your sweetheart, do feel free to send it to me via The Spectrum.
(Thank You Sarah!)
ENJOY - (again not my writing, but I love it!)
Valentine’s Day is Saturday (you’re welcome, all you men who forgot). Being a student , I find myself fascinated with the origins of just about everything, and holidays are no exception. Unlike certain people in my life (*cough* Mom) who would ban the Easter bunny because of its origins as a pagan fertility symbol, I’m not on my quest to do away with holiday traditions whose origins I find personally objectionable. I just want the information so I can feel smarter than your average Valentine.
Looking into the origins of holidays is not unlike cleaning out your fridge. The more you dig, the less sure you are of what you’ve actually discovered. There are several versions of the Valentine story. I’ll let you decide which you prefer.
Version 1: Early Europeans believed that February 14th was the day all birds began to choose their mates. This belief has its origins in Chaucer, who wrote that Europeans believed this. Europeans, embarrassed that they didn’t already know they believed this, began believing it and pretending that they had always believed it. This led to mass expressions of love as a distraction from the fact that nobody actually knew what they really believed.
Version 2: The Pagans celebrated the feast of Lupercalia every February to honor the Roman God Lupercus and thank him for saving their flocks from wolves. Girls names were drawn from a box by the boys in attendance and the couples were considered partners for a year. The Christians renamed this celebration Valentine’s Day and encouraged the pagans to draw the names of saints instead. The pagans weren’t having it, probably because dead saints weren’t very good kissers.
Version 3: Emperor Claudius, annoyed that the men of his empire were less than willing leave their wives and fiancés to fight in his wars, placed a moratorium on marriages and declared all engagements canceled. Saint Valentine secretly performed marriages and was thrown into prison, where he died. It’s unknown whether any children of those secret marriages were named Valentine in his honor, because, well, they were secret.
Version 4: St. Valentine was imprisoned by Claudius for helping Christians. While in prison, he cured a jailer’s daughter of her blindness and/or fell in love with her and wrote her letters signed, “From your Valentine.” Claudius didn’t like the idea of his prisoners performing miracles and/or writing love notes and had Valentine clubbed and/or beheaded on February 14, 269 A.D. It’s unclear whether or not this Valentine is the same as the one in the previous version because they’re both dead and can’t be reached for comment.
Version 5: St. Valentine, upon being rejected by his mistress, cut out his own heart and sent it to her, still beating, as a token of his love. According to some scholars, we give heart-shaped boxes of chocolate and send heart shaped cards in the mail in remembrance of his passion and suffering. I would add mental illness, but I’m sure there’s another holiday set aside for that (it’s called Black Friday).
Whichever version you choose, it’s obvious that this holiday is steeped in tradition and rich with history. When you look into the eyes of your love this Saturday, remember wolves, wars, disembodied heads, and bloody, beating hearts sent through the mail.
If you’re now too disgusted to give that heart-shaped box of chocolates to your sweetheart, do feel free to send it to me via The Spectrum.
(Thank You Sarah!)
Friday, February 13, 2009
Happy Valentine's Day - Tomorrow.. so Happy Friday the 13th!
I was listening to Valentine Horror stories on the radio this morning and realized "Oh my gosh, I have one. I WAS ONE! I was the crappy Valentine's Date from Hell to a poor boy." I have never written about and only told a few people about it. I decided that in celebration of Valentine's Day I would write about my bad deed on that special day.
Bill HATES this story...
it was 1996, I was living in Southern California and going to Saddleback College in Mission Viejo. Most of my college buddies were really really "rowdy" (to put it mildly). So I had found a friend among the rowdy ones that only liked to hang out with them but didn't party like them - just like me. He was a great guy and we started dating. Randy was a born again Christian, he didn't drink and he believed sex was for a husband and wife only. So we had the same basic life styles and core belief system. We had the same larger group of friends and I really enjoyed being around him. One time when things were serious he and I had a little chat.
Randy: so, your a mormon huh?
Me: yup
Randy: where are things going with us?
Me: not sure, for now I enjoy being around you.
Randy: I can't marry someone that isn't a born again christian
Me: great! I can't marry someone not LDS
Randy: so... what now? do we break up?
Me: well, I guess we could. truth is, I already know who I am going to marry.
Randy: really? are you dating someone else right also?
Me: no, he's actually on a mission in South America right now.
Randy: oh. has he proposed to you?
Me: no. Nick, you believe in the holy Ghost right?
Randy: yes
Me: you believe that the Holy Ghost can witness things to you right?
Randy: yes
Me: well the best I can explain it is that the Holy Ghost has told me that I will one day marry Bill.
Randy: that's cool. I get it.
Me: so what now
Randy: I guess we can keep hanging out, keep each other out of trouble and we don't get serious. Then when he comes home it's over. Deal?
Me: Sounds good - Deal.
a month later, February 2nd 1996, Bill comes home. I tell Randy that my future husband is home, he's fine with things he says. a few days later I invite Bill to Disneyland (we aren't really dating yet) and he can't go with me. So who do I call? Randy. I mean, I was invited on a double date with some Marni Manley and her date, I HAD to have a date and Bill couldn't go. So Randy went with me. (Bill is still insanely jealous about it).
Then a week later is Valentine's Day. Bill and I had gone out once to a Church dance and that was it. we hadn't gotten serious, he hadn't really taken things anywhere yet, (he had only been home less than 2 weeks, can't say I expected things to go anywhere yet).
So... who asks me out on Valentine's Day? Randy!!!!
(not Bill - your own fault Bill, quit getting jealous!)
I accept his invitation for a date I thought was going to be a casual hanging out.
Poor guy...
He shows up at my house dressed up nice and with a dozen ROSES!
I thank him. and we get in his car.
He says we are going to go see the most incredible view of the ocean from the mountains where he has a special surprise waiting for me. (crap)
So He takes me to the top of a Hill near Laguna. It was incredible, the ocean, the stars Laguna below us - absolutely breath taking! we walk over to where he had someone set up a picnic, with candles, music, the whole 9 yards. and he had MADE Chocolate covered Strawberries just a couple hours before he showed up to take me out. He had gone all out.
I didn't know what to say. It was too much. no, really, it really was too much.
We ate, we didn't say much. He asked me to dance. As soon as he grabbed my hand, I stopped him.
"Randy, you have done too much. Your a great guy. But, I have to call it quits with you. Bill has been home for 2 weeks and I know he's the one. You should probably take me home."
Yup. I broke up with a great guy on Valentine's day. He had gone all out and kicked some butt on the romantic date planning, and I crushed him. I suck!
well there is my Valentine Horror Story.
Bill and I were engaged 3 weeks later.
Bill - I love you! Sorry I am scum.
Randy - wherever you are, sorry I am scum. You are a good guy, just not MY guy.
Bill HATES this story...
it was 1996, I was living in Southern California and going to Saddleback College in Mission Viejo. Most of my college buddies were really really "rowdy" (to put it mildly). So I had found a friend among the rowdy ones that only liked to hang out with them but didn't party like them - just like me. He was a great guy and we started dating. Randy was a born again Christian, he didn't drink and he believed sex was for a husband and wife only. So we had the same basic life styles and core belief system. We had the same larger group of friends and I really enjoyed being around him. One time when things were serious he and I had a little chat.
Randy: so, your a mormon huh?
Me: yup
Randy: where are things going with us?
Me: not sure, for now I enjoy being around you.
Randy: I can't marry someone that isn't a born again christian
Me: great! I can't marry someone not LDS
Randy: so... what now? do we break up?
Me: well, I guess we could. truth is, I already know who I am going to marry.
Randy: really? are you dating someone else right also?
Me: no, he's actually on a mission in South America right now.
Randy: oh. has he proposed to you?
Me: no. Nick, you believe in the holy Ghost right?
Randy: yes
Me: you believe that the Holy Ghost can witness things to you right?
Randy: yes
Me: well the best I can explain it is that the Holy Ghost has told me that I will one day marry Bill.
Randy: that's cool. I get it.
Me: so what now
Randy: I guess we can keep hanging out, keep each other out of trouble and we don't get serious. Then when he comes home it's over. Deal?
Me: Sounds good - Deal.
a month later, February 2nd 1996, Bill comes home. I tell Randy that my future husband is home, he's fine with things he says. a few days later I invite Bill to Disneyland (we aren't really dating yet) and he can't go with me. So who do I call? Randy. I mean, I was invited on a double date with some Marni Manley and her date, I HAD to have a date and Bill couldn't go. So Randy went with me. (Bill is still insanely jealous about it).
Then a week later is Valentine's Day. Bill and I had gone out once to a Church dance and that was it. we hadn't gotten serious, he hadn't really taken things anywhere yet, (he had only been home less than 2 weeks, can't say I expected things to go anywhere yet).
So... who asks me out on Valentine's Day? Randy!!!!
(not Bill - your own fault Bill, quit getting jealous!)
I accept his invitation for a date I thought was going to be a casual hanging out.
Poor guy...
He shows up at my house dressed up nice and with a dozen ROSES!
I thank him. and we get in his car.
He says we are going to go see the most incredible view of the ocean from the mountains where he has a special surprise waiting for me. (crap)
So He takes me to the top of a Hill near Laguna. It was incredible, the ocean, the stars Laguna below us - absolutely breath taking! we walk over to where he had someone set up a picnic, with candles, music, the whole 9 yards. and he had MADE Chocolate covered Strawberries just a couple hours before he showed up to take me out. He had gone all out.
I didn't know what to say. It was too much. no, really, it really was too much.
We ate, we didn't say much. He asked me to dance. As soon as he grabbed my hand, I stopped him.
"Randy, you have done too much. Your a great guy. But, I have to call it quits with you. Bill has been home for 2 weeks and I know he's the one. You should probably take me home."
Yup. I broke up with a great guy on Valentine's day. He had gone all out and kicked some butt on the romantic date planning, and I crushed him. I suck!
well there is my Valentine Horror Story.
Bill and I were engaged 3 weeks later.
Bill - I love you! Sorry I am scum.
Randy - wherever you are, sorry I am scum. You are a good guy, just not MY guy.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
It's funny...
It's been a while since I've "blogged"...
that phrase is funny to me. you see, that's how almost every journal entry in every journal I have ever had starts.
..."it's been a while since I've written..." As if I owe someone an apology for my laziness. when in fact it is not laziness but busy - ness that keeps me from blogging.
Yes, I have been home-schooling. I kind of feel guilty that I am not liking it as much as other moms seem to like it. It is a real sacrifice to make sure I make that time to prepare and sit and teach and help. I get very frustrated with my son.
but here is what I do love - he is doing better than he had a chance to do in school.
Gabe is a difficult kid sometimes. He flat out refuses to do work of any kind unless it is making movies on the computer.
so me... the big genius that I am... decides he gets to have his own blog spot to journal and write in. But what is his Blog now? A huge mess of games and movie downloads. No writing anywhere. hurumph. okay, how to get a kid to write. that is the next problem. He draws comic books and writes a few words or phrases here and there to embellish the story he tells with pictures. He is a great story teller with pictures. I love that he can change facial expressions and body language in a stick figure. amazing to a non-artist like me.
I had the reverse problem in school. Teachers were always saying "Michelle, I asked for a one page essay comparing these 2 poems, I didn't need 13 pages tying in other poetry books and comparisons Please do it over and make it something I can read in one night."
Yeah, I was THAT kid. So it's hard for me to figure out why MY child doesn't want to write? I don't expect perfection. one time I told him he could write anything he wanted to (this was after trying to get him to do a paragraph of what he just read) But he cried and cried and cried and refused and said his head was going to explode. So when the paper was finally finished it was something like this...
"... I hate my mom. my head hurts. Why does everyone hate me. I can't think of anything to write. If I have to miss my brother's party I'd rather die. ..." etc, etc...
So yeah. He finally wrote a whole page. this is something he has never done before for any teacher. since then he has written 2 other pages very similar, but he is STARTTING to write.
I believe learning to write to be so important. maybe it's because it's MY way of being vocal. But truly every great leader in history has been able to write their thoughts and feelings. Even great scientists and artists need to learn to write what they think and see and feel in order to gain the respect of their communities.
So yeah, I am a stickler on writing. Not penmanship, not spelling, not punctuation. Just on writing. Getting thoughts to words to computer or paper. If I can help him do that, I think he can feel more free to express all those things tied up inside him.
that phrase is funny to me. you see, that's how almost every journal entry in every journal I have ever had starts.
..."it's been a while since I've written..." As if I owe someone an apology for my laziness. when in fact it is not laziness but busy - ness that keeps me from blogging.
Yes, I have been home-schooling. I kind of feel guilty that I am not liking it as much as other moms seem to like it. It is a real sacrifice to make sure I make that time to prepare and sit and teach and help. I get very frustrated with my son.
but here is what I do love - he is doing better than he had a chance to do in school.
Gabe is a difficult kid sometimes. He flat out refuses to do work of any kind unless it is making movies on the computer.
so me... the big genius that I am... decides he gets to have his own blog spot to journal and write in. But what is his Blog now? A huge mess of games and movie downloads. No writing anywhere. hurumph. okay, how to get a kid to write. that is the next problem. He draws comic books and writes a few words or phrases here and there to embellish the story he tells with pictures. He is a great story teller with pictures. I love that he can change facial expressions and body language in a stick figure. amazing to a non-artist like me.
I had the reverse problem in school. Teachers were always saying "Michelle, I asked for a one page essay comparing these 2 poems, I didn't need 13 pages tying in other poetry books and comparisons Please do it over and make it something I can read in one night."
Yeah, I was THAT kid. So it's hard for me to figure out why MY child doesn't want to write? I don't expect perfection. one time I told him he could write anything he wanted to (this was after trying to get him to do a paragraph of what he just read) But he cried and cried and cried and refused and said his head was going to explode. So when the paper was finally finished it was something like this...
"... I hate my mom. my head hurts. Why does everyone hate me. I can't think of anything to write. If I have to miss my brother's party I'd rather die. ..." etc, etc...
So yeah. He finally wrote a whole page. this is something he has never done before for any teacher. since then he has written 2 other pages very similar, but he is STARTTING to write.
I believe learning to write to be so important. maybe it's because it's MY way of being vocal. But truly every great leader in history has been able to write their thoughts and feelings. Even great scientists and artists need to learn to write what they think and see and feel in order to gain the respect of their communities.
So yeah, I am a stickler on writing. Not penmanship, not spelling, not punctuation. Just on writing. Getting thoughts to words to computer or paper. If I can help him do that, I think he can feel more free to express all those things tied up inside him.
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